Do relationships make us stronger or smarter?

My first relationship started on the Internet. University, work, parents and various chores constantly prevented me from finding a good guy. I wanted so much to fall in love that I had to take a desperate step – I registered on a dating site.


I thought for a long time about what to write in the questionnaire. I carefully chose my words, tried to tell only the truth about myself. Apparently, I succeeded, since there were a lot of messages from representatives of the strong half of humanity. I would even say too much, which I did not count on.

Most guys and men wrote trivial messages, some – a mobile phone number with a hint of intimate relationships. But since my soul demanded romance, love and adventure, I was not interested in and impressed by all this.

My choice fell on a man who wrote me a very unusual message:

– You are like fog, in the light of the moon, descending on a field of violets!

I imagine what you thought! Then I was struck outright, now I would have decided that he was a maniac. Having studied his profile, I wanted to meet with him. With every message I fell in love more and more. We made an appointment.

God, he came on a date in a suit and a bouquet of roses. We talked for a long time, talked about everything except sex and money. It s great when you can just talk about the beautiful, flutter and not sink to the ground, talking about worldly things.

There were many dates, he constantly surprised me, made surprises, gave inexpensive gifts. But when the slight fleur of euphoria began to fade, I gradually began to recognize his real one. I gave him a postcard with kissing hedgehogs, and he said that romance is not for him, he is too old. I realized that in fact he hid his true age.

When I asked about age, he confessed that he had slowed down five years. I accepted it, but the residue remained. After this awkward situation, he wanted to meet my friends. I arranged a meeting, and he found an approach to everyone. I watched his maneuvers and could not understand – how is this possible? Naturally, my friends approved of it.

Later he introduced me to his friends, and then to his sister. His parents have already died. We met, constantly communicated when we were at a distance from each other. I came to him, he came to me. Everything was great! In the evening we could not stop talking on the phone. One morning he did not pick up the phone or answer the message. The silence lasted for several days.

Then he called me himself and asked me to remove the profile from the dating site. I have deleted. Everything seemed to be working out, but something was already wrong. It seemed to me that there was another person in front of me. That he does everything to push me away.

He constantly received messages on his phone, reading them, he probably smiled like a March cat. Once he asked me what he had written on the page, or rather, than his profile hooked me. I was taken aback and said that I did not remember. He got very angry and said that I just poked my finger at the first questionnaire.

It was insulting to tears. Then he disappeared again. A few days later, when I was about to go to bed, he called me and in a drunken voice asked me to come. I packed up and drove off. He was drunk, and there were many empty bottles of expensive alcohol in the apartment. I asked what was going on. He said he loved me, but we cannot be together …

I realized that when I was drunk I could get everything out of him …

– We can t be together. I m not who you want. Your choice fell on me by accident. As soon as the best option comes along, you leave me. I d rather do it first. I cheated on you. I am still searching. I ve always wanted romance, but you don t give it to me. I need a girl who will sit at home and bring slippers when I tell her. And you are not like that, you are smart and beautiful. I keep looking for a girlfriend. I can t find you better, but it will be difficult with you …

I left, remembering the card with hedgehogs …

This relationship has given me a lot. I matured and realized that I was ready to love. The next day he called me, apologized and asked me to come. I said I had a date. He was clearly in shock. In the evening I called him and said that I was leaving him for another. You know, apparently, I loved him. Now, looking back, I understand this. I am grateful to him. I decided to leave myself, although I suffered for a very long time, worried and could not forget him.

A month later, he called me and began to tell me that he had met a girl, she moved in with him. She is what he was looking for. Young and does not ask unnecessary questions …

– Does she bring you slippers?

– Yes! Now do you understand that we did not fit each other?

– Sure! I m happy for you! Very! Honestly…

He taught me a lot … I understand that beauty is not enough. I collect information, I try to get to know the person well. I constantly pay attention to all sorts of little things. I didn t become suspicious. I also trust people, but I have learned to let them go. Why think and wonder for a long time what went wrong. It s easy to understand a man, you need to hear him. There is no point in looking for hidden meaning in simple words …

– We just don t fit together …

Think I forgot about dating sites once and for all? No, now I have a relationship that originated on the same site. Any relationship hardens us and makes us stronger. Don t be afraid of love. In order to find the perfect man – you need to look for him!

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Article published in Issue 11/21/2014

Updated 07.22.

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