Actual problems of self-realization among young people

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If we consider the problems of self-realization of young people not only from the side of the individual as the difficulties of the realization of an individual, but look at them in general, as problems of the whole society, then we can see that the solution of these problems can improve the social system, raise productivity, and also avoid many social conflicts. The socio-demographic group that falls under the definition of “youth” has a higher level of perception and acceptance of the modernization of society.

It is easier for young people to adapt to modern conditions of existence, it is easier to master innovations in various fields. Culture, politics, social and economic activities and much more do not stand still, guided only by the cultural heritage and experience of ancestors. All social sectors are changing, acquiring new modern outlines. For people who have crossed the threshold of youth, it can be extremely difficult to accept such changes due to the densely rooted conservative views. Over time, the reins of governance of society are transferred to the hands of the younger generation. That is why it is so important to create favorable conditions for self-realization of youth, helping young people to become harmonious, comprehensively developed personalities.

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The path to the future

The period of youth is a kind of road to the future. It is on this thorny path that a person predetermines his further existence, makes a choice in the direction of a particular profession, decides in which social sphere his potential will be fully revealed and more useful to society, what occupation will bring spiritual comfort. The minds of young people, like a sponge, are capable of absorbing, filtering and processing a large flow of information. Studies in developmental psychology say that it is in the process of growing up that a person develops self-awareness and a stable system of values, and also determines the social status of a person. For the period of youth, manifestations of critical thinking are characteristic, a person learns to evaluate and analyze. In parallel with this, the foundation of the stereotypes of the past has already been laid in the minds of young people, the task of young people is to correctly filter out the experience of past years, to highlight the main and useful information for themselves.

path to the future

Fathers and Sons

We, adults, do not understand children, since we no longer understand our own childhood. Sigmund Freud

The problems of self-realization of young people also include the eternal confrontation between the old and young generations. Basically, old people are always dissatisfied with the behavior of young people, they try to give advice from the past years, and young people, with all their youthful ambition, do not want to listen and draw conclusions. In fact, the confrontation between these two social groups can both serve a certain benefit and cause considerable harm in the further realization of youth potential. Undoubtedly, the experience of the past can be useful in order, for example, not to make the same mistakes or, as they say, not to reinvent the wheel. This is where the ability to filter information and give their own assessment of certain judgments comes in handy for young people.

As for the negative consequences, too persistent imposition of conservative views will hinder the desire of young people to develop in the modern world, to keep pace with the times, to adapt to the rapidly developing features of the environment. Young people, crushed by the authority of the older generation, lose interest in learning everything new, passivity develops, sometimes bordering on infantilism, and these qualities in no way contribute to self-realization and achievement of success. Therefore, in the process of education, it is extremely important to find that notorious “golden mean”. As KS Stanislavsky said: “Let the old wisdom guide the youthful vigor and strength, let the young vigor and strength support the old wisdom.”

Fathers and Sons

Youth problems in the modern world

The modern world is no longer so strict about the observance of the rules of morality, as in ancient times, this also has a considerable component of the essence of the problem of self-realization of youth. That is why most modern young people have extremely vague moral standards. The majority are dominated by hedonistic inclinations, selfishness, which sooner or later leads to self-destruction of the individual. The problems faced by modern youth hinder the self-realization of the individual or make it practically impossible. Spiritual devastation, the hopelessness of future life, the split in value orientations, the spreading nihilism and the breaking of moral ideals – these are the main reasons that lead modern young people to such social problems as:

  • Alcoholism
  • Addiction
  • Immorality
  • Crime
  • Suicidal tendencies
  • Substitution of life values

Falling into one of the above trends, the individual enters the path of degradation and self-destruction. And only through a long and complex social, physical and psychological rehabilitation can a person return to normal existence, as well as motivate his personality to further self-development.

Teenager's problems

What hinders self-realization of youth

Here are some of the most basic problems of youth self-realization.

Inadequacy to social requirements

Hardly anyone in childhood dreams of becoming a successful plumber or loader. Everyone wants to be astronauts and flight attendants, pilots and ballerinas. But over time, a person realizes that it is not always possible to fulfill dreams. Society does not need millions of dancers and actresses, preference is given to professions in the field of science, physical or engineering labor. The first problem of personality self-realization is the discrepancy between the desired and the actual. You have to choose between a childhood dream and a profession that is more prestigious and profitable. But often young people do not understand that it is possible to realize themselves not only in a career. Self-realization is the totality of all spheres of life, such as creativity, hobbies, family, environment, and the like. It turns out that nowadays modern youth in the majority prefers choosing a profession that is more profitable, but to which they have no heart at all. Of course, therefore, the opportunity to be realized in the labor field in this case is extremely small.

Lack of social requirements

The overwhelming majority of young people in the modern world are focused on getting good income. But mastering a profession and hard work are not included in the plans of young people. The lack of labor incentive primarily arises from the hopelessness of future life, the individual does not see the point in making efforts. Such qualities as laziness, passivity, lack of initiative begin to prevail, a feeling of hopelessness arises, which can lead to stress and personal conflicts of the individual.

non-compliance with social requirements

Lack of social reference

The younger generation sometimes does not have time to adapt to such a rapidly changing society. The experience of the past and the modernization of society are sometimes so different from each other, and these changes occur in a short time, that they bring a certain dissonance into the immature consciousness of the younger generation. Young people lack social guidelines, because what was important for the previous generation is rapidly losing its value in the framework of urbanization and modernization of the modern world. Therefore, the further choice of the goal and path of young people begins to be determined by the circumstances and requirements of society, and not by the abilities and desires of the individual himself. Therefore, it is extremely important to form the ability to adapt one’s professional and personal goals to the development trends of modern society, to be able to adapt without disturbing the emotional balance.

Reduction of social programs

The problems of self-realization of youth directly depend on social activities. In order to fully demonstrate their potential, to determine the inclination to a particular field of activity, young people must be provided with a foundation, so to speak, an arena for implementation. Reduction of various youth programs, inability to find conditions for active amateur performance, difficulties in the right to directly participate in educational, political, and labor activities. The young generation has absolutely no place to show their potential, since society is not able to provide affordable leisure venues for implementation.

Social insecurity

For successful self-realization, the young generation must feel support and support from others. This is not only about the family and the general education system. The state must fully create favorable conditions for the life support of the young generation and the formation of a harmonious personality. If young people do not feel guarantees, a certain guarantee of the success of their future, then this contributes to the emergence of a feeling of fear, uncertainty about the future. That, like any negative thoughts and emotions, creates obstacles for the self-realization of young people.

social insecurity

Moral and spiritual chaos

The last period of development of modern society notices a tendency towards dehumanization of culture, the meaning of art is demoralized, the image of a person becomes belittled, spiritual and moral values ​​fade into the background. Empathy and altruism give way to greed and consumerism. The spiritual values ​​of collectivism have been replaced by selfish and individual goals. All these factors, as well as the lack of a clear national idea among young people, are also part of the essence of the problem of self-realization of young people. The media and social networks have a detrimental effect on the fragile young psyche. You should not underestimate the value of the Internet and all its benefits (which in the modern world do not occupy the last place in the self-realization of an individual), but here again it is necessary to develop in young people the ability to correctly filter information.

Solving the problem of self-realization of youth

So what conditions are necessary for youth self-realization? First of all, one should not forget that the self-realization of an individual primarily depends on the person himself, his aspirations and readiness for hard work. The task of those around them is to help young people to form, creating all the necessary favorable conditions for the development and realization of their potential.

On the part of the family and close environment, this can be the transfer of valuable experience, the formation of moral values. This can be achieved, for example, by personal example – a child who grows up in harmony and sees a favorable family model in front of him is already one step closer to a successful future. The education system, too, usually makes a significant contribution to the formation of personality. Pedagogical tendencies should not stand still, constant growth, development, the search for new productive methods of upbringing and education are needed. The state should also introduce various social programs for the development of youth, provide an opportunity to realize their creative and creative inclinations, create so-called leisure and cultural platforms for young people to splash out their amateur activities. Also, do not forget about social guarantees – young people should not feel unprotected within the framework of social policy. Each person should be sure that persistent, honest and hard work is an opportunity to achieve success, and the state will help in this, since the mechanism of governing the country should be interested in obtaining decent personnel and educating a worthy young generation.

solution to the problem of self-realization

Young people should not be looked down upon. It is very possible that, having matured, they will become outstanding husbands. Only the one who has not achieved anything, having lived to forty or fifty years, does not deserve respect. Confucius

The problems of self-realization of young people are not only individual and personal difficulties of young people. This is a global problem for the whole society as a whole. It is quite possible that the cute baby you see in the sandbox will later become the head of state and the arbiter of the fate of the entire society. Therefore, one of the most important goals of the modern world is to solve the problem of self-realization of young people and create high-quality conditions for self-realization of young people.

Dopamine is the hormone in the pursuit of happiness

Why is there no continuous happiness?
Why are euphoria and thrills dangerous?
How do we do mental masturbation?
What do falling in love and drug withdrawal have in common?

Almost every one of us believes in achieving true ultimate happiness. Such a psychological jackpot. Even the most sober and adults, at heart, hope for a fabulous life.

Some expect to get into a fairy tale for money – they say you just need to earn money and buy yourself paradise. Others are betting on great achievement and recognition. It seems like some prestigious medal, Nobel Prize, or Oscar is enough for ultimate happiness. Still others hope to go to heaven after enlightenment, or at least posthumously. And most often they expect to catch an eternal buzz with the help of love in a relationship.

Almost every lover believes in endless happiness with a lover. Unfortunately, this is not possible. The chemical processes in the brain are arranged in such a way that the continuous high remains only a distant dream of an eternal paradise.

The lover sways on an emotional swing. Either he is on a wave of euphoria, then in decline and depression. It seems to him that the decline can be removed, and the takeoff can be made permanent – and then true happiness in the relationship will begin!

And for this eternal buzz to come, you just need to love each other with all your might! Hollywood happy ending!

With the same success, you can count on an eternal high for a drug addict. It seems like we remove the withdrawal and only euphoria remains.

But the withdrawal cannot be removed anywhere. Here we run into the boundaries of our brain.

The fact is that when you fall in love, the same chemical processes occur in the brain as after taking cocaine: a surge of energy, euphoria, increased motivation, up to obsession.

It’s all on the wave – as long as the cocaine works. And on the decline: insomnia, impotence, irritability, anxiety, depression. Drug-free life becomes colorless and tasteless.

The same thing happens when falling in love, when euphoria is replaced by depression. This is how the dopamine hormone acts on the brain.


Dopamine is a hormone of desire. Dopamine energizes, literally makes you get carried away and persistently achieve your goal – remember the dedication of lovers.

You don’t want to eat, you don’t want to sleep, attentiveness increases. Dopamine, as it were, promises the achievement of happiness – and you feel a high anticipation.

Drugs and falling in love overload receptors in the brain. The brain quickly gets used to a new level of high and demands it. And everyday joys are no longer pleasing at all – you become insensitive to them.

Therefore, when you fall in love, you are possessed by the beloved, and the rest of life seems meaningless. The brain asks you to press the dopamine lever – and all thoughts revolve around the beloved.

It’s the same with drug addicts. Only sharper. When the brain learns the dopamine jump, it doesn’t want anything else.

Guilty pleasure

Now I will describe the most dangerous property of dopamine euphoria. Do not be intimidated by clever terms, I will explain as simply as possible.

During euphoria, the brain seems to decide that there is too much dopamine, so it reduces its production and reduces the number of receptors that respond to dopamine (this is called the reward system). This is what makes you increase the dose in order to get the same effect.

To understand, imagine that your stomach has increased after yesterday’s gluttony and now the usual portion seems to be too small. In addition, the cook decided that you were already well fed and began to put you half as much.

That is, the appetite has increased, and the portion has decreased. Yesterday’s amount of happiness is not enough for you to be satisfied today. So after all, the happiness itself has become less! And breaking begins.

It happens when we get hooked on the thrill. Obsessive love, perversion, pornography, promiscuous sex, drugs, gambling.

Dopamine Lever

You’ve probably heard about the famous experiment that James Olds and Peter Milner performed on rats – this is almost a classic. They stuck electrodes into the rodents’ brains. The rat pressed the lever and stimulated the center of pleasure for itself. Up to 8000 times per hour.

The rat was losing interest in everything. She ignored food, female, danger, and only stung the lever until she was exhausted.

Dopamine gave the rats no satisfaction. He only promised it. The rat pressed the lever because it felt that it was about to get what it wanted. As a result, I just fell exhausted.

Doesn’t it look like anything?

Shopping, surfing the Internet, TV shows, games are the most innocent ways to train a person to pull the dopamine lever.

We have learned to deceive nature. Most of the public entertainment is this kind of brain masturbation. We watch movies – and other people’s stories replace our own lives. We use flavor enhancers – and artificial food replaces natural food. We watch porn – and someone else’s passion replaces our healthy relationship.

We hit the dopamine lever over and over as we crawl on social media. It seems that you are about to find something interesting. But you don’t find anything special, and after an hour you feel devastated.

We press on it a little harder and more persistently when we consume alcohol, caffeine and nicotine.

We obsessively press the dopamine lever when in love. Against the background of euphoria, everything becomes meaningless. Friends, work, hobbies – dopamine obsession devalues ​​everything.

And the greatest danger is drugs. They directly steal joy from the rest of life.

You can do it in moderation: games, internet, shopping.
Undesirable: caffeine, nicotine, alcohol.
Dangerous: obsessive love, fanaticism.
Deadly: drugs.

Historical reference:

When Coca-Cola appeared in 1885, it contained cocaine in its composition – this explains its name “Coca-Cola”. And only 20 years later in the United States passed the law “On the purity of food and medicine.” And then cocaine was taken out of Coca-Cola. Innocent caffeine remained as a stimulant.

Today’s article is a synopsis of a recent video. Images to the text from the same place.

Depressive maniacs

Another example of uneven dopamine intake is bipolar disorder, or manic-depressive psychosis. On the wave – manic, on the decline – depressive. This is a state when euphoria seizes, you are obsessed with something, and then the wave passes and there is devastation and depression.

You get the same thing after taking drugs. The same thing happens when you are in love. All symptoms of manic-depressive psychosis.

In a blog on I wrote an article on this topic called “Mental recessions.”


Manic-depressive love can be contrasted with calm mature love. There we feel unity and stable quiet joy without any breakdowns and breakdowns. This long-term relationship is accompanied by the hormones oxytocin and vasopressin.

Here we will pay tribute to the ancient oriental teachings. Almost all of them say how dangerous it is to swing the pendulum of dualistic experiences. Call for moderation and nonduality. Buddha himself preached the middle way.

Dopamine in moderation is essential for everyone. He makes life interesting, invigorates and encourages to achieve their goals. Dopamine is a reward for everyday achievement.

Everything is good in moderation, right?

Dopamine fasting

Nowadays, the practice is gaining popularity – dopamine fasting. A kind of hormonal fast. It takes a couple of days to restrict yourself from all the ways to get a quick dopamine boost. These days will have to be lived in a bummer state. You no longer stuff yourself with savory food, social media, sex, masturbation, caffeine, alcohol, nicotine.

And then the ability to enjoy the little things of the present moment gradually returns. Books, work, simple food, communication – colors return to life.

Be attentive to your condition. Don’t chase the thrill. Be moderate!

Igor Satorin

In the meantime, there is no need to worry about it. ”

How not to be offended?

Resentment is an emotion both unpleasant and unaesthetic – it does not paint anyone. Not only do you suffer, but you also look whiny and prickly.

I want to get rid of resentment as soon as possible. But if you don’t know how, you can be offended for many years. It’s better to spend money on a psychologist, or work on your own. Today I’ll tell you how.


You may have noticed that we are not offended by strangers. Only for loved ones. The closer a person is, the stronger the offense is.

If a stranger on the street pushed, you might get angry. You will not be offended.

Only children take offense at strangers – they do not feel boundaries, do not understand who is their own and who is a stranger.

If you are offended by your boss, then he is at least a little close in your eyes.

If they take offense at you, then the offended one still keeps you on the list of relatives. If he cooled down and moved away, then he stopped counting his relatives.

When we are offended, we kind of inform the offender that he is still close to us, but some wrong close – and must correct himself. By resentment, we invite a person to repent and become a right loved one.

Imagine that you have a room in your heart for those closest to you. If your face control is lax, you can hurry to let the person into your heart.

He may not give a damn about your trust and behave casually. You will be offended as long as you keep the abuser in your heart. Offended, you kind of offer him to correct himself in order to remain in your heart by right.


What if a loved one does not want to improve and continues to behave like a stranger? You can take offense and cry for years. But it’s much easier to admit the truth. Man is not that close. Perhaps a stranger altogether. You were wrong about the person.

Seemed close and dear – turned out to be distant and alien. It’s time to let it out of your heart.

Stopping resentment is always the removal of a false charm. To stop being offended, you need to be disappointed to the level of truth – to admit your real relationship with the offender.

What is the distance between you? Maybe the person is not a stranger – just not as close as you hoped. Perhaps you are not so important to him, so he cannot be the perfect close. Relationships are still possible, just not so close.

Healing resentment is admitting the truth. You yourself hastily considered the person close – you yourself made a mistake in him. The offender is not to blame for your naivety. He doesn’t have to invest in a relationship.

You return the right to be a stranger to the offender – he ceases to be an offender, and you cease to be offended. Relationships stop draining your energy.

Of course, you don’t have to chop off the shoulder and part with the slightest offense. It’s possible to lose all relationships. But if the resentment lasts for months and years, it’s time to move on.

Disappointment is unpleasant. When the heart is empty, the soul grows cold. But this is a short-term experience. Resentment can last even a lifetime.

You can get disappointed in one day. And it heals the hurt.

If you are recklessly and hastily fascinated, learn carefully and in time to be disappointed. Otherwise, you will have to take offense for years.


Usually psychologists are against labeling a person. But it is in the case of resentment that a clear formulation with a label helps to accept the situation.

If a person behaves selfishly, you cannot call his behavior wrong. Admit that he is an egoist and behaves naturally selfishly. An egoist is not obliged to break himself and become good specifically for us.

If a person behaves like a pig, there is no need to call it love, which he is breaking. Call it what it is – a swinish attitude under the guise of love.

If a person is cold with you, it is easier to admit that he is cold. Cold is its legal property.

If a person easily succumbs to emotions, admit that he is emotional and should not be judicious.

If a person reproaches for a mistake that he himself makes, admit that he is psychologically blind. Maybe he was born that way. Nobody is perfect.

On I talked about psychological blindness in a separate article.

Inflated requests

Note that resentment always indicates self-deception. You expect the person to take care of you, and instead they take care of themselves.

Resentment has a lot to do with anger. Anger is an active emotion. She encourages to correct the situation with her own hands. Resentment is a passive and childish emotion. She encourages to correct the situation with the hands of the offender.

The offended person identifies himself as the victim of the situation, and the offender as the offender.

The offended whines and blames, so that the offender begins to improve the situation.

When you are offended, it is difficult to understand whether your requests are adequate, or are you demanding an unreasonable amount? Are you offended by the case or are you unreasonably capricious?

This is not important. In any case, resentment gets in the way. It torments and destroys clarity. Even if your requests are justified, it is easier to get your way without offense.

Sometimes they try to forgive the offense. The offended, as it were, declares that he is above the offense and does a condescending favor to the offender – so be it forgives him.

Showy forgiveness means that the offended person is still offended. To truly forgive, you don’t have to declare any forgiveness.

The root of resentment is the belief that the abuser should improve the situation. If you root out this belief, the resentment will go away on its own.

Ask questions: “Where did I get the idea that a person should admit his mistake? Do I have the right to force others to improve my life? “

Answer the questions not dryly for show, but do some serious work. Analyzing your needs is a powerful healing tool.

Constructive resentment

In general, offense is toxic, it poisons life. But there is such a rare situation when resentment can save a relationship. For example, the offender, out of inexperience, allowed disrespect. And the offended one told him about it. Kind of like: “let’s not lower the bar of relations, let’s continue to respect each other!”

The offended person could not say anything. I could quietly be disappointed and distant. Instead, it opened.

If a loved one is offended, it means he cares – he did not have time to move away. If the loved one has already cooled down, it means he has moved away.

To regain lost intimacy, you need to bring the offended to feelings. Let him remember his resentment and speak out. For maintaining a relationship, resentment is better than cold.

A neat resentment can save you from a breakup and maintain a warm relationship. But if the offense is not satisfied, it is useless. Be it at least three times justified.

If you take offense at being single, then you save only the illusion of intimacy. You knock on closed doors, you live in the hope of repentance of the offender. This can go on for many years. Of course, it is better to heal from such an offense.

If a person is offended occasionally, perhaps he is right – it’s time for you to hear feedback.

If a person is constantly offended, it is dangerous to indulge him or her. This will only strengthen his resentment.

As you can see, healing from resentment comes down to being honest with yourself. Expectations come in line with reality – and no more offense, no more disappointments.

A healthy person does not take offense, but draws conclusions.

Igor Satorin

In the meantime, there is no need to worry about it. ”

Pity for Others: Protection and Betrayal of Love

If you feel sorry to tears – no matter who – a loved one, a puppy, or a movie hero – this article is for you.

From time to time, clients come to consult with this cloud of experiences, where guilt, pity and love merge together. Sometimes it becomes important for a person to sort out their feelings in order to grow emotionally and take the next step.

Today I will try to express what I managed to dig up in the course of such joint research. These are subtle psychological matters. Usually they don’t talk about it. They feel it. Therefore, the language is figurative in places.

There is an opinion, Castaneda seems to have spoken about this, that pity for others is such a metastasis of self-pity. My observations suggest that there is still a difference. Feeling sorry for yourself, you lose energy (I talked about this last time). By pitying others, you can receive an influx of energy – the motivation for caring.

Self-pity means declaring oneself pitiful and demanding pitying motherly love from another who is not pathetic. This is the desire to trust the patron. If the patron is angry, he can be pityed with tears – and switched to derogatory care.

In pity, not for oneself, but for another, there is something constructive and light. We feel sorry for the holy and at the same time defenseless – that which deserves salvation. Holy means valuable. Defenseless means in danger. Therefore, most often it is a pity for animals and children.

This is the logic of the soul. By the soul, as usual, I mean the psyche.

It is also a pity for an adult person if this composition of defenseless holiness can be traced in him. This can be, for example, a kind, caring, but naive parent.

Please note that no one regrets independent, self-confident people. Sorry for the defenseless and innocent. For example, an injured puppy. He himself appears to be pure and helpless. But the puppy will be doubly sorry if he is also tame and affectionate. Here it is holy and defenseless – both the puppy himself and his naive trust in you. Trust wants to be saved and preserved.

On the other side, the self-pitying person seeks to trust the patron in order to feel safety and comfort. Therefore, it is not even a person who is sorry, but his child’s trust. I do not want to betray trust. It seems like we are “responsible for those who have tamed” …

Therefore, sometimes you care about a person not because you love, but because he loves you. Another’s trust seems to be unconditional love – a special value that one wants to preserve. It is your own need for unconditional love.

A space of care and love

I have analyzed self-pity with many clients, and I have found that almost everyone unconsciously believes in a particular ideal space of care and love. You tune in to him somewhere deep down. You are connected to this light space, while you yourself care and love.

If you don’t feel sorry for the puppy, then “you’re guilty” – you no longer have the right to the space of care and love. It closes – and your personal world darkens, the program of mutual assistance is removed from it. The world begins to seem cold and cruel, and you yourself become callous.

We feel sorry for our idealism, sorry for ruining children’s fairy-tale hopes, sorry for ourselves, naive, small, who believes in unconditional love. It is the child within us that protects its hope for light. And I want to save him.

We feel sorry for those who take care of us without obvious benefits for themselves. Against the backdrop of a ruthless reality, their concern is sacred. I would like to justify and save her.

Here pity is the fear of betraying something sacred in your soul. And there, in the soul, this light is opposed to darkness. It is like a fragile flower of life and love in the midst of indifferent chaos. You feel that there is no place for him in the world – the world is too rough and merciless. To save this flower means to affirm life, to transcend the cold soulless reality.

When you feel sorry for a person, you want him to be happy, so that the fragile flower of love will survive and bloom. I want to save him, and place him in paradise, where he blooms.

Pity can accompany a worrying anticipation of guilt. You have not ruined the flower yet, it is in your hands. And if you have already ruined, you feel guilty – you betrayed the space of care and love. Guilt encourages correction in order to return the right to love.

I repeat, I am not talking here about some objective laws of life, but only about the irrational logic of the soul.

You probably noticed that they feel sorry for themselves incomparably more often than others. Finding defenseless holiness in another person is not easy. You see the surface: his adult body, you see how stupidly he acts. His inner, secret remains hidden from prying eyes. Therefore, no matter how stubbornly he pity himself, you do not pity him.

But you feel the depth of your soul. At least vaguely. On the other side, something sacredly fragile is phoning – your inner child. I want to save him.

Sometimes pity is confused with contempt. You perceive a person as a “pathetic nonentity.” But you don’t feel sorry for him at all.

You feel contempt when someone else’s self-pity seems out of place. Maybe, deep down, you want pity too, but you forbid it to yourself. And the person next to himself does not bind himself with such a prohibition, and unrestrainedly regrets himself. So I want to tell him: “pull yourself together, rag!” That is, someone else’s intemperance is annoying when you shackle yourself.

Self-pity is a childish attitude: “I have the right to love because I am small and good.”

Pity for others is a mature attitude: “I have the right to love, because I myself care.”

Self-pity is a healthy feeling for a child. But it is harmful in adulthood.

Moderate pity for the helpless is a healthy feeling at any age.

Igor Satorin