As a child, we know exactly what our future relationships should be: close, tender, sincere. Most of us dream of a happy marriage, not a shallow relationship or loneliness.
As we grow up, we start dating real and, alas, imperfect people. We often face lies, injustice, betrayal. Our childhood dream seems more and more naive and unattainable.
And in each new relationship, getting closer to your partner and trusting him becomes more and more difficult. What if he breaks his heart?
Once burned, someone “allows himself to be loved” by choosing an unwanted but reliable partner. Many try not to become seriously attached to anyone else in order to avoid disappointment and pain. Others prefer to change themselves.
Why do people cheat? I, forgive me, do not believe that there is a real physiological need for this. Rather, a thirst for self-affirmation or fear of a serious relationship and responsibility to a loved one.
Traditional values are out of favor today. In books, films, TV shows, we often see a “glossy” model of light, non-binding relationships. All this is beautifully called inner freedom and emancipation. But behind this lies an elementary licentiousness and emotional untidiness.
Relationships without commitment are especially attractive at a young age, when there is simply not enough experience and maturity to understand that the picture from the TV and real life are not the same thing at all.
“Life is too short, you need to seize the moment!”, “Leftist strengthens marriage!” – these are the maxims you hear all the time. What to say? Everyone has their own view of happiness. But, alas, in a couple where cheating is a common thing, there is no and cannot be trust! Therefore, such relationships are superficial and short-lived.
If partners are deceiving each other, they simply cannot become truly close people. Lying is destructive for any couple, no matter what the walkers say. Even if the spouse forgives the traitor, it is almost impossible to restore the relationship in its former form. Mistrust and resentment divide partners. Such a connection ends without becoming a real feeling.
Yes, true love requires respect for the heart of the chosen one.
To live contrary to modern stereotypes, the opinion of friends brave for heroic deeds, resisting fleeting desires and hobbies is a big job. But, believe me, it will pay off. When you live according to your conscience, you not only preserve love, but also preserve your inner self-respect and harmony.
As practice shows, nothing brings a person more satisfaction than a strong, loving family. Nothing else will give you such support and will not inspire you to feats in all areas of life.
For people who deliberately build relationships based on love and acceptance for each other, loyalty is by no means self-restraint. Fidelity in such couples is an inner need, a conscious choice. Because trust and reliability for such partners is much more important than momentary pleasure.
Truly happy couples live openly, without constant fear of deception or betrayal of a loved one.
Do you need fidelity in a relationship? It’s up to you to choose.
Of course, an open relationship requires much less mental and emotional costs. But, choosing loyalty, we consciously change our view of relationships, and our couple moves to a new level of development.
psychologist, leading practice and trainings