Falling in love is an intense, emotional experience that the lover “blindly” projects onto the object of his feelings. Falling in love is an illusion, because a lover does not love a real person, but his image in his mind. Falling in love is a projection of one of the “mechanisms” of consciousness onto the outside world. What is this mechanism? Recently in an article on exposure, I briefly touched on this topic. Here I will try to describe the essence of what is in love in more detail.
Unconscious falling in love
I’ll start a little from afar. Our unconscious is a collection of various mental processes that we are not aware of. All these processes are the cause and basis of what we think and feel in everyday life. Unconscious processes can be conditionally divided into levels that are associated with our past and future stages of development. “Low-level” processes of the subconscious – contain “information” from our past. These are stages of development that, relatively speaking, go back to our childhood and further to the animal principle. “High-level” processes of the unconscious are our potential, a refined part of our psyche, which is still destined to manifest itself if we do not stop in our development. Until then, these processes manifest themselves indirectly, in brief fragments, from time to time, sometimes as the most beautiful, refined and light experiences, a kind of psychic diamonds that a person passionately desires to master. And since the nature of these “diamonds” is unknown to us, we mistakenly begin to associate their manifestation with another person, in whose society these “jewels” of our unconscious were manifested. This is how falling in love arises. We simply project the lightest parts of our psyche onto a person, in whose society they emerge from our unconscious.
The beloved is the “key” to the door of the storehouse of the subconscious, behind which our psychic “diamonds” are kept. The image of a loved one – one of these diamonds – is a harmonious facet of our insides, which is suppressed under layers of experiences deep in the subconscious. The beloved is the lover himself, in that hypostasis of his that he is not yet able to accept in himself. Why can’t we be ourselves without any illusory projections? Our unconscious is immeasurably larger than the everyday conscious part of the psyche. High-level processes of the unconscious “contain” both “light” and ordered experiences, and experiences that a person is not yet ready to accept and “digest”. Some of these experiences can manifest themselves as melancholy, sadness, heartache, “emptiness”, sadness, anxiety, etc. You can define them as “blocks” on the path to psychic diamonds. In this sense, a person often, no matter how strange it may sound, is not able to be himself, and therefore projects his mental processes onto the outside world. The psychic diamond of the subconscious is embodied in the image of a loved one. The mental pain caused by “passing” through the “blocks” of the subconscious is attributed to separation from the object of love. I will probably return to the subconscious with its “levels” in some other article, but for now we will continue about our enamored “elephants”.
The illusion of being in love
Near the object of his love, a person begins to accept himself at a deep level, and therefore falls into dependence on his beloved. Man has felt the “taste” and beauty of the psychic diamond and now he longs to master it. This diamond is like a psychic magnet that attracts consciousness, makes it break through the thickets of the subconscious and experience all the darkness that stands in the way. Falling in love is an illusion of love that turns into a painful addiction, a sense of ownership and jealousy. Sometimes, if you remove all these experiences, nothing remains of love. Falling in love is an illusion also because the image of a loved one, unlike other images in the head, as a rule, is fundamentally different from a real person (the “object” of falling in love, onto which this image is projected).
Amorousness suggests that a person has a connection with his “superconscious”, but this connection is so mediated that a person is not able to accept the psychic “diamond” as a facet of his own psyche. The craving for this diamond can be passionate, a blind desire to “master” is manifested at all levels: spiritual, emotional and bodily. As much as a person wants to take possession of his psychic diamond, so much he wants to own a loved one as an “object” of his illusory projection. A beloved is just a “tool”, a way to reflect what is happening in the lover’s own mind. In fact, without realizing it, the lover longs for unity with himself, tk. this is what is the greatest bliss. And he is in love with himself, because only he himself is the one in whom true unity can occur.
False gurus sometimes exploit the above described psychic “mechanism” of falling in love. They deliberately build an image that fascinates people, awakening “divine” experiences in them. And the sectarians project these experiences onto the image of the teacher. False teachers ascribe to their “false influence” all the high experiences of their followers. And the mental pain on the way to high experiences they (this time quite rightly) write off on working off their own “karma” of the students. It turns out that if a disciple is good, it is “the merit of the guru,” and if it is bad, it is the merit of the disciple. The main thing is not to confuse. On this topic, progressman.ru has a separate article about false teachers. Similar processes often manifest themselves in friendship and in relationships in general, when we are drawn to a person by something from the depths of our own consciousness. We project our pain and our joy onto the outside world.
Falling in love is a big illusion, which is why it is called “intoxicating”, or even “intoxicating.” Sometimes this illusion lasts for years, especially if there is no way to get to know the object better. my illusion love. Therefore, often (but not always) close communication, everyday life and life together destroy falling in love, because in this way the lover better recognizes the object of his “love”, and begins to notice the difference between the “fictitious image” of his projection and a real person. This “difference” is the cause of most of the frustrations in relationships with people in general. For this reason, people who “enjoy” falling in love can unconsciously keep themselves at a distance from the object of their feelings, so as not to be disappointed longer. Sometimes this translates into falling in love with a distant idol, with whom there is no way to communicate in life. But even communication in real life does not help with especially severe cases of “stupefaction”, and the lover, against the background of his feelings, simply does not notice the shortcomings of the object onto which these feelings are projected.
With close communication with a loved one, falling in love does not go away immediately even in such rare cases when the object of “falling in love” is really in something, or even in many respects “coincides” with the image with which the person is in love. That is, it is a paradoxical case when a loved one really has the qualities for which he is loved. Or, in other words, the level of energy with which the projection of a lover resonates is really actively manifested in him. In this vein, a person is loved for the quality that is manifested in him, but in himself is still suppressed in the unconscious. In this respect, falling in love is a powerful catalyst for personality development. But more often than not, such realism of projections is manifested not in ardent love, but in balanced love, about which I intend to write a separate article in the near future. Falling in love can either when the lover himself reaches this “level of energy” and gains his psychic diamond, or when this psychic energy suppressed in the subconscious is exhausted and stops pressing painful desire on karma the stresses of the subconscious, which block this refined psychic energy. In the latter case, emptiness comes to the place of “falling in love”, because today the yesterday’s lover has nothing to resonate with the energy of the object of his yesterday’s “love”.
Approaching the object of love gives pleasure, distance – suffering. And in suffering, the soul, as you know, develops. This suffering is the block of stress through which a person gradually breaks through to his psychic diamond at the depths of his soul. Falling in love is one of the mechanisms of personality development. True approach to the inner diamond without any passing projections gives a feeling of self-sufficient satisfaction, as if you are successfully moving up the career ladder of the soul. This is a difficult and often long road to wisdom that patiently waits for its time in the depths of our gut.
© Igor Satorin
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