Falling in love from the point of view of psychology

Natural Born Romantics and Artistic Natures, Please Don’t Read! If you cannot imagine life without love experiences, and the state of falling in love inspires you to do great things, this information is not for you.

The article is dedicated to those who have already passed the stage of falling in love in their relationship or are in captivity of a destructive passion, from which he himself would be glad to get rid of, but he does not know how.

Let’s take a look at falling in love, discarding sentiment, scientifically.

Agree, most of all we are in love with the candy-bouquet period, when we communicate with the other half only superficially, or … if at all we do not have the opportunity to get close to the object of passion (for example, when we love secretly and unrequitedly). But closer acquaintance with the “idol” and common life often destroy the relationship.

Why?


Love – a feeling that gives our soul food for the most beautiful experiences … and nothing else but absolute illusion

It does not arise in the real world, but from our unconscious, that is, from those layers of the psyche that a person is not able to control and even be aware of. (Freud and his followers wrote about the strongest influence on the life of the unconscious.)

A whole layer of memories and images is stored in deep memory. Our subconsciousness adds to them and much of what we hear from friends, see on the screen or read. Therefore, the lover looks at the object of his passion through many prisms: it can be children’s romantic ideas about love, and parental experience, and Shakespeare’s passions … This is how the image of our future “half” is formed.


We fall in love not with a real person, but with an ideal, a projection of our subconsciousness onto a beloved.


Our soul is multifaceted, but most of its sides are hidden from us. Not feeling whole, we are constantly looking for a soul mate who will fill the void inside us.

And finally, someone opens the door to a fabulous cave filled to the brim with treasures – our brightest spiritual qualities. Without knowing it, this Ali Baba opened the secret places of our unconscious. And we sincerely believe that it was the beloved who gave us them.

In fact, the treasures were stored in the depths of our psyche from the beginning. Falling in love, we learn interesting things about ourselves, our true values ​​and innermost dreams. Therefore, falling in love is a powerful catalyst for personality development.

The thirst for possession of a loved one is only the desire to reunite with oneself, to know oneself, to finally become whole and happy. This is the need to pull the diamond of our inner self from the depths of the unconscious.


Do not mix love and love.

A real feeling for a loved one is the lot of mature and self-sufficient people.

Love is a deep affection for a close and well-known person, despite (and thanks to!) His weaknesses. Loving someone, seeing what they really are, is a spiritual task of a higher order than just falling in love.

Lyudmila Ivanovskaya,
psychologist, trainer, specialist in the field of relations
and family constellations

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