Are there any such concepts as “female” and “male” jealousy? Yes, there is. How do they differ from each other?
We talked about men in the last article. This time we will figure out what “female jealousy” is.
Women s jealousy is always fear. Fear of loss, fear of loneliness.
And if a man blames his wife for treason, then for a woman, on the contrary, the root of all troubles is a rival bitch. After all, the fear of being alone is stronger than pain and resentment. It is more convenient to think that the beloved has simply “stumbledâ€, “succumbed to the cunning charms†of the lovemaker. Then you can not break off relations, cry and forgive, and betrayal will become a lever of manipulation – “I endure so much, I suffer, I forgive!”
Unlike male jealousy, female jealousy is based on emotion, not sex. For women, physical infidelity is not as overwhelming as it is for men. Well changed and changed – they are all like that.
For the weaker half, it is much more scary when a man admires the other, shows attention and care. This is a tragedy and betrayal.
Nevertheless, women are more likely to forgive cheating. After all, building a new relationship from scratch is long and scary, and if there is also a material dependence on a partner, the chance to start a new life seems to be zero.
3 types of women prone to jealousy
1. Insecure
This is the most common type of jealous woman. She doubts that she is worthy of her man. Low self-esteem, self-doubt, hurt self-esteem – this is the perfect soil to grow not a beautiful flower of love, but a thorny cactus of jealousy.
2. The daughter of a jealous mom
This jealousy “comes from childhood.” All her life, the girl saw before her eyes an example of a mother who always suspects her father of intrigues. And he simply does not represent another model of behavior.
3. Owner
“Don t touch – mine!” In this case, jealousy extends not only to potential rivals. Both the mother-in-law and female colleagues fall under the skating rink of possessiveness – in general, everyone who at least somehow pretends to the time and attention of a loved one.
Top 5 reasons for female jealousy:
An inferiority complex (“How can you love me like this?”).
Injured pride (“I am neglected, even the computer is more important than me!”).
Hypertrophied sense of ownership (“This is MY man, he belongs to me!”).
Fear of losing the “breadwinner†(“Children need a father, I can t do it alone!â€).
Copying the model of behavior of the parental family.
Pathological jealousy cannot seal a relationship. Destroy – yes. And very quickly and easily. And you must be aware that if you have contracted this virus – that s it, the countdown has started in the relationship. So ask yourself: “Why do I want to destroy my family?” It s time to get rid of this ailment before the trouble happens.
How to deal with jealousy
Answer yourself honestly to the question: “What made me defend so actively?”
After all, jealousy is always a defense, sometimes hysterical, sometimes aggressive, sometimes passive.
“What am I really afraid of?”
Losing material goods or being alone?
And most importantly – learn to love yourself!
Any woman wants to be the only one, special for her man. But! If we do not love and value ourselves, if we do not admire ourselves, then how can we evoke these feelings in a loved one? And reproaches, suspicions, scandals begin.
Learn to be proud of yourself, enjoy your virtues. Confident women are not jealous.
Lyudmila Ivanovskaya,
psychologist, trainer, specialist in the field of relations
and family constellations