How to communicate with an introverted man – basic rules

Men are usually more introverted, i.e. more secretive and withdrawn than women. The common people say, “all in itself” or “closed in itself.” The reason for this may be both features of temperament and character, and psychological problems or the influence of any circumstances.

An introvert is a person who is focused on his inner world and tries to let out as few manifestations of this world as possible. However, such concentration does not prevent them from calmly communicating with others and achieving heights in life – both career and personal.

Introverts are more often among the following specialties:

  • Employees of power structures and law enforcement agencies (investigators, operatives, police officers).
  • People working in jurisprudence (lawyers, notaries, lawyers).
  • Technical specialists.
  • Heavy manual workers.
Among many other specializations, you can find introverts, but only the choice of a profession does not always indicate this. The most correct way is to look either at a genetically inherent temperament and personality type, or at the reasons that prompted a person to be or become an introvert (withdrawn).

Men are withdrawn for several reasons:

  1. The profession obliges. For example, people working in VET are forced to “not splash out”, maintain self-control and be able to control themselves in all situations. In appearance, they may even seem callous and cold, but in fact this may not be so. Often, the contingent with which law enforcement officers are forced to contact provokes scandals and, literally, “shake out” the soul.
  2. Failure on the personal front, including in sex life. Refusals of girls, ridiculous “tackles”, failure in bed – all this closes men.
  3. Failure at work. Something does not work out, the bosses scolds, the person suffers humiliation, projects are not implemented or do not want to be implemented. All this, of course, does not contribute to the desire to show the wealth of your inner world.
  4. Elementary human betrayal. This is scary and vile, but, unfortunately, it often radically changes one’s fate and personality.

Traits of an Introvert Male

  • Dislikes long-term contacts.
  • Does not welcome close mutual relations with unfamiliar people (trusts only close ones).
  • Noisy companies are definitely not his option for spending leisure time. He prefers calm and secluded types of recreation, in extreme cases – with a very close circle of confidants and / or friends.
  • Restrained, whether it is possible to guess the mood or thoughts by his face.
  • Conservative in everything.
  • Not talkative, prefers actions and deeds to words. He would rather kiss his beloved woman than say a couple of eloquent compliments.
  • Rigid suppression of attempts of random people to “probe” the soul and feelings or the inability to talk about the topic that the introvert does not want to develop. In this case, sarcasm, mockery, or malicious irony “pours out” from the introvert.
  • Intolerance to empty talk or idle chatter.
  • A penchant for analytics and introspection, philosophy, reflections on various high topics. And hence – always thoughtful, balanced answers to questions and the ability to conduct a productive dialogue.
  • Love for everything related to books. Reading for an introvert is the best pastime, a book is the most expensive and long-awaited gift.
  • Family is the main value in life.
  • The ability to appreciate loyalty and not be scattered by friends who have proven it.
  • Preference to communicate with someone individually, rather than with several people at once.
  • In difficult situations and, if necessary, make a choice, he does not care about public opinion and the stereotypes that have developed over the years. He will do as he needs.
  • Independence of decisions: he can listen to many opinions, but he will do it all the same in his own way.

By the way, British and American psychologists note that the proportion of introverts among men is much higher than among women. This ratio of introverts / extroverts is approximately 70/30 for men and 40/60 for women.

Yes, an introverted man is secretive and outwardly little emotional, because winning his sympathy is not easy… But later he almost always turns out to be an exemplary husband, an excellent family man, faithful to his wife and children.

So how to find an approach to a man of an introverted personality, communicate and get along with him?

  1. Do not press, do not press, do not rush things. If you need to ask about something – calmly, in a delicate form, voice your question without pressure and tension. In almost 100% of cases, introverts are delicate in communication, they will respond with courtesy to courtesy. And if he realizes for himself that the interlocutor does not press on him and does not aggressively impose his beliefs, he will want to communicate further.
  2. Give him time to “open up”. This does not happen immediately and not soon after the beginning of communication. First, he looks closely at the person, and this will not take a short period. If such a man discerned positive qualities in the interlocutor or in the observed, realizing that there is a worthy person in front of him, then an introvert for that interlocutor / worthy will become the best and most valuable friend.
  3. Support: in statements, thoughts, actions. Introverts especially appreciate when they approve of their actions. Then the relationship from the category of business can go into trust, and in the future – into close ones. And if they admire their hobby or hobby, such a man will generally be happy.
  4. Since sometimes they become introverts involuntarily, one should not emphasize in communication, discuss and condemn complexes or some kind of failures of an introvert. Introverts themselves experience such things very hard, “grinding” in themselves fifty times this or that action, word, deed, or mistake. If an introvert himself does not want to talk about such, it is better not to turn his soul inside out.
  5. Just listen and understand. Since introverts are usually well-read, listening to their speech is a pleasure. And, of course, to understand and accept, if further communication, friendship or something more awaits in the future.
  6. Sincerity. Such people perfectly feel lies and falsity.

In principle, when dealing with both an introvert and an extrovert, keep your distance, at least initially. It is even more effective not to violate human boundaries. In any case and under any circumstances. Nobody likes it when they get personal or openly climb where they should not.


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  • Posted in
  • Male psychology
  • Psychology of communication

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