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How is love different from falling in love? This question is asked by many people. Probably, everyone wants to meet their soul mate, to enter into a marriage, which, as you know, is in heaven, to live with a loved one all his life. But this is not always the case. And a person wonders when he was mistaken, what happened, on what part of the path he turned in the wrong direction. A cocktail of endorphins, hormones of happiness, accompanies both erotic sympathy and true deep feeling.
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The difference between love and being in love
So, what is the difference between love and falling in love:
- Falling in love is shallow and love is deep. A lover is a person who cannot imagine his life without a chosen one.
- A person in love thinks more about his pleasure from a loved one, and may not even notice what he feels and what the other longs for.
- Falling in love can pass as soon as passions subside, and love only grows stronger over the years, blossoms.
- Falling in love melts like snow in the sun, as soon as a person shows his other side. As soon as the idealization of the subject slept (for example, a person committed an unseemly act, fell ill, having lost his attractiveness), the desire to take care of him, to be around does not manifest itself.
- Falling in love can be destructive, but love – creates, creates. For example, a person in love can fight with the friends of the chosen one, his relatives. And a truly loving person will think: will my dear person be good from this senseless struggle.
- As you know, love is longsuffering, it manifests itself in mercy and care, in understanding and sensitivity. And love can evaporate, melt, leaving behind only a slight aftertaste.
So, how does love differ from falling in love: depth, time and degree of selfishness of a loving or in love person. It is known that love is a high art, which not everyone is capable of. For true love, one must reject such qualities as infantilism, selfishness, prudence, excessive ambition, striving for profit. But respect and self-respect for a partner, for his personality, the willingness to give him freedom and a reliable shoulder when he needs it, attention to his interests – all this contributes to the transformation of falling in love with love. After all, the first is the natural initial phase of love. However, a deep feeling may not come if the person has certain personality traits – or – if the other does not reciprocate.
Some argue that love can only be mutual. In some ways they are right. True love is also the ability to let go of a person in time, not to impose on someone who does not need it. Love is a gift, but when a person persecutes another, extorts signs of attention from him, demands love, the latter becomes not a gift, but a curse. Of course, this is not a real feeling sung by poets. This is just a selfish desire for power, possession of a sufficiently infantile person who is accustomed to the fact that the world must meet his expectations and hopes. Make no mistake in your choice!
How to distinguish love from falling in love?
- Think about what qualities and traits are characteristic of your loved one. After all, if the only thing you can say about him is that the chosen one has a beautiful appearance and a bright smile – you can hardly see his soul, the true essence.
- Think about what you are ready for the sake of your beloved or loved one. When you just want to consume: Her or his beauty, charm, enjoy his or her company – this is far from love. True deep feeling begins when you are willing to give more than you receive. This is also the answer to the question of how to turn falling in love into love.
- Are you ready to be with this person in grief and joy, to overcome life difficulties with him or her, are you ready to take care of his family, live together and support the chosen one, and not complain of boredom and that the relationship has lost its former charm.
Alas, love passes. And the bright fireworks of emotions ever ends. Routine, silence and calmness can enter your life. Scientifically: the hormone oxytocin, which is responsible for quiet tenderness, comes into play. A person who was only in love, go in search of adventure in order to relive a cocktail of emotions and an explosion of feelings. But a truly loving person will remain by his side, grow and develop his love.
So, falling in love and love: the difference. Psychology once claimed that love lives for three years. As a rule, it was such a period that was necessary in order to enter into an intimate relationship and be together while a woman is pregnant, and then breastfeeds. Soon there were opponents of this theory. But, be that as it may, it is clear that it was about falling in love, not about love. The latter can live a lifetime.
What is the difference between falling in love and love? Psychology claims that only a personally mature person is capable of a long, deep feeling for his partner. Others are looking for easy ways, adventure and passion, and when it passes, they go in search of a new source of happiness. After all, falling in love is a kind of drug. At the same time, a person does not think about what hurts another, and also about the fact that falling in love is a superficial feeling, and mature love can give true pleasure.
What is love?
Alas, if a person has lived with a partner all his life without cheating, this does not mean at all that he really loved. After all, there are many reasons why people get married, give birth to a pair of children. Unfortunately, love is often not on the list of reasons at all. Sometimes laziness, fear of change and loss of material well-being, and not at all true deep love for a partner, interfere with parting. Living together and torturing each other means being very far from love.
It is important not only to understand how to distinguish love from falling in love. But also to know how to develop the ability to love in oneself, how to make falling in love develop into true love?
- They say: love is responsibility. And it is true. Take responsibility for ensuring that your relationship develops, becomes better, take part of the responsibility for the well-being of your couple, Her happiness. The second part is on your partner
- Try to understand what kind of person your chosen one is, except that he is your partner. What he loves, how he lives, what are his talents, his individual personality traits
- Learn to negotiate. In a relationship, it is important to pay attention to the interests of your loved one, but also not to forget about yours, to sensitively and carefully build the boundaries of your relationship. How does falling in love turn into love? Gradually, in the process of living with a loved one, interacting with him.
- They also say that to love means to desire development. And also – to help him!
- Psychologists say: you don’t need to look for a half, you can only become halves. In the process of creating relationships, living together, people tune in to each other, change, as if they become two halves of a single whole. Of course – only if there is a mutual desire, personal maturity.
- Develop empathy, learn to feel your loved one, understand what his needs and requirements are
How do you know that he is the one?
But, as a rule, everything starts small. How to recognize falling in love?
- The other person suddenly evokes emotions in you – not always positive ones. It can be surprise, interest, or even negative feelings. But he suddenly becomes meaningful to you. Or not a friend – but over time, when a long-familiar person causes you an unusual excitement, interest
- Falling in love means feeling euphoria, getting prettier, mobilizing all your strength! The body responds to the other person. “We feel anxious, and our body releases adrenaline, which speeds up the heart rate and increases sweating,” says sexologist Ghislaine Paris. According to him, dopamine, serotonin and endorphins manifest themselves in the human body – hormones whose action is directly opposite to the action of adrenaline. Blood vessels dilate, and a blush blooms on our cheeks. Not with zeal, the writers were so fond of describing how the face of a lover is flushed with embarrassment.
- Falling in love is a confusion of feelings. A person is uncomfortable with the object of his love. He wants to say something bright, extraordinary, to amaze the imagination, to make an impression. But, alas, the palms are sweating, the tongue is braided, it becomes extremely difficult to say something clever, even the most banal. Therefore, it is so important, when going on a date with a person, not to judge him too harshly, to give him the opportunity to better appear himself. After all, awkwardness, inevitable in the presence of feelings, often spoils the first impression.
- Desire to get better! A person pretends, tries to appear more beautiful, smarter, kinder, more successful than he is. “The fear that our feelings will be recognized, the fear of being rejected,” says sexologist Alain Eril. “Our self-love is at stake.” How can there be to the naturalness of behavior!
- Falling in love is a definition of feelings that make us idealize another. People tend to embellish the subject of their love, idealize him. And how many problems this causes in the future! The woman did not look that her beloved prefers to drink in the company – and in a joint life, his drinking with friends did not give her rest. The man did not pay attention to the fact that the beloved consults with her mother for any reason – and in marriage she cannot build the right relationship with her mother-in-law, who unceremoniously interferes with the young family. It is important to see the alleged shortcomings (from your point of view) of the chosen one, but not to look for the ideal, because it does not exist! The main thing is to be human, to recognize the free will of the other, but to look at things objectively. And do not immediately enter into a relationship with the person whose personal views and values are cardinal but opposite to yours.
- Not always only positive emotions! Sometimes a lover is inclined to resist his feeling, to deny it, to be afraid to plunge headlong into the cycle of emotions. After all, it is not uncommon for a man and a woman to have a past marriage or exhausting relationships that have left wounds in their hearts. One should not be afraid to open up to love, because you cannot build trust on the foundation of fear, and without it, harmonious relationships are impossible.
Falling in love – what is it? And how to distinguish love from falling in love? A good question to ask yourself in time, not too late and not too early. It is necessary to allow time for falling in love to develop into deep affection, if possible. How to distinguish love from falling in love in a man?
A man who loves his chosen one is ready to do things for her. He is not looking only for sexual satisfaction, pleasant emotions. He is interested in the life of his beloved, he will never put her before a choice: he or a child from his first marriage, for example. He strives for the beloved to be realized in life, to achieve what he wants. The difference between love and being in love is that the lover thinks more about the beloved than about himself.
How to understand whether falling in love or love overtook you? Answer yourself the following questions:
- Whose feelings are more important to you, yours or a loved one?
- Will you give up a loved one for the sake of the chosen one?
- Are you ready to give up having children for the sake of a loved one?
Answering yes does not mean love at all. This was a trick test. The fact is that if for the sake of a loved one you are ready to give up what is the deep essence of your personality, this may not mean love, but dependence and weakness. Love is respect for a partner and self-respect. If you completely dissolve in the chosen one, then very soon you will cease to be interesting to your beloved, you will turn into a shadow. You should sacrifice yourself, if a dear person really needs it, you should be in a place in grief, in illness, but regularly give in to your beloved, giving up your personality, betraying yourself – this is not an option!
So what’s the difference between falling in love and loving? The lover thinks more and more to himself, and the loving – about his only, dearly beloved person. And how to understand if this is falling in love? Wait, give yourself time! Feelings will sprout and bloom in lush color, and light sympathy will melt.
Many psychologists, scientists, and writers have tried to figure out how to define falling in love. It’s simple: the excitement in the presence of a person, his significance in your eyes, the dependence of your self-esteem on the opinion of a person – most likely indicate an incipient feeling. What is falling in love: a definition by psychologists: A strong positively colored feeling that is directed at another person. Lovers are two souls who strive to unite, to be together in spite of everything, to build their lives. What does falling in love with a person mean? It means wishing him happiness. We wish you love and harmony.