Reading time 7 minutes
Parting with a loved one is, unfortunately, an inevitable thing in the life of each of us. The reasons for parting can be different: they did not agree with the characters, betrayal of one of the partners, financial aspects, etc. It is very important, during such a break, to try to break up with your beloved, if not friends, then at least friends who cost nothing to say hello to each other when they suddenly meet. But how to survive parting with a girl, cope with your emotions, in order to be able to behave in this way when you meet, and most importantly – how not to lose faith in women after such an emotional grinder? Let s look for the answer together.
A break does not always mean the end, but often a stepping stone. Â© Erich Maria Remarque
<< Table of Contents >>
You know the reason – you know the tactics of further actions
Everything, you broke up. Finally and irrevocably: she took her things, your common cat and closed the door behind her. It would seem that here it is freedom – now you are not limited by anything and no one, do what you want. If you have a desire, you go to the club, to meet your friends, they won t say a word to you. But the problem is that you don t want to. Itâ€™s not that heâ€™s going to be scattered, but I donâ€™t want anything at all: neither work nor have fun, but only eat and sleep. This algorithm is a kind of defensive reaction that occurs in most men. A kind of denial of the problem, one might even say ignoring it.
But we are all adults, so we understand that such a tactic is completely inappropriate in order to survive the pain of parting – on the contrary, it only exacerbates the situation, plunging a person into a state of depression and apathy, which can lead to serious problems in the future. In order to overcome this difficult period as quickly as possible, the first step is to understand the current situation: why did the gap occur? Its reason? To know how to survive parting with a girl, you need to find out the reason and, already knowing it, build a tactic for getting out of this situation.
Parting with a loved one is a very intimate moment, which should not be devoted to the smallest details under any circumstances. Even if your closest friends. But despite all this, there is a kind of list of reasons why couples most often disagree and let s be frank – men are most often the culprits:
- Inability to listen – most girls are inclined to believe that they do not need a man who does not know how to listen and hear. When building a relationship with any girl, it is very important to listen to everything she says. Remember what it was said in the movie “The Hitch Method” – any girl will idolize you if she knows that she is being listened to. Therefore, if you do not want that the reason for the separation was not your inability to listen, then learn to be interested in everything that your beloved says.
- Influence of your family – no girl wants to compete with your mom for your attention. Therefore, if you are already being told about this directly to your face, then this is a reason to think – maybe it is worth somehow changing your behavior model? Of course, no one says that it is worth stopping communication with loved ones (especially with mom), but it is worth dosing communication. If this does not happen, then sooner or later you will be branded as a mama s son, and for women it is even worse than a tandem of sandals and black socks.
- Obsession is something, and in this regard, both men and women are the same. Of course, when you meet your man, you want to be with him regularly, and if not, then know for sure where he is, with whom and the like. Overprotectiveness is one of the most common reasons why couples break up. Understand that women are such creatures who want a man to be around often, but not constantly. Let s just say, not 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, but a third less. Just like men, girls need time for themselves: to be with friends, alone with themselves. Attention must be dosed, no matter how many of them claim otherwise.
- Dislike for her friends is forbidden territory for any man. Yes, you may not like her friends for a number of reasons, but you cannot speak out about this, especially in a rude manner. No matter how you like it, her friends are holy to her, just as yours are to you. Therefore, you should not once again call her friends “those still maramoyks”, because in fact – she can say the same about your friends. Respect, respect and more respect. Or at least make it appear.
- Cheating – you will regularly look for a way to cope with breaking up with a girl, if, in fact, you yourself cannot pass by every skirt. Of course, you can shout that all men are polygamous, this is our nature, but what s the point in this, because all the events that happened are completely on your conscience? After all, no one forced you to act in this way – this is completely your decision, which means be ready to reap the benefits. And you guys will be lucky if you get off with just a woman s hysteria with throwing objects, because chances are good that you will definitely get revenge, moreover, when you do not expect this at all.
The list of all these reasons is far from complete – there are more serious offenses that destroy relationships between people at the root. The main thing, regardless of the reason for the separation, is to remain a man. You should not throw mud at your ex-girlfriend or wife, because, if you look at it, she is your conscious choice. Yes, that s right: your choice. After all, some time ago everything in her attracted you – it means you liked it. Just try to avoid discussing this topic with anyone.
Top tips from psychologists on how to cope with parting with your beloved
Almost all men s magazines have written on this topic at least once – this question has always been, is and will be relevant at all times. The problem is that the advice on how to cope with breaking up with a girl is too different. Some propose to go through several stages, gradually leaving the past behind, while others sharply chop off the shoulder. This is not to say that some advice is more effective, while others are not, since everything initially depends on which person decided to use the advice. Agree, it is unlikely that a phlegmatic, by nature, man will be helped by advice – to go to unwind in a club with girls (an exaggerated example, but very suitable). Most likely, he will acquire a feeling of awkwardness, rather than a couple of acquaintances. The opposite situation will be for a pronounced choleric person – advice from the category: “to be alone, to realize the meaning of being”, will only bring a terrible migraine.
For this reason, it was decided to offer you options for overcoming the blues that are suitable for everyone, without exception. They are not tied to traits of character or behavior model, with all this, they are also still very simple to implement.
So, here are the top 7 tips on how to get over a breakup:
- Fighting shock is a natural reaction of any living organism to factors that are unsettling – this is, of course, shock. Scientifically speaking, your body begins to produce the fear hormone adrenaline in excess. But what a bad luck – there is no danger nearby, but a headache, a nagging feeling of anxiety in place. Such an alignment can hardly be called a comfortable life.
How to deal with this? Start drinking coffee. No, no vanilla cappuccino or latte. Train yourself to drink espresso in the morning – this little trick will help you avoid headaches and also give you a boost of vivacity. And yes, start actively playing sports – a direct way to get hormones of joy. All these tricks will help to lift your mood at first.
- The desire to arrange a “random” meeting or to call – the loss of a beloved woman is tantamount to giving up alcohol addiction or drugs. I agree, it sounds a little silly, but it is. The fact is that during a relationship, our body produces a huge amount of dopamine – a natural “drug” that brings us pleasure. It is clear that rejection of it leads to unpleasant sensations. The best remedy at this stage would be a holiday trip. Take a vacation, relax, get a lot of positive impressions – thus, you will be able to “deceive” the body;
- Eat Well – When going through a breakup with a girlfriend, you should never forget about good nutrition. A hunger strike will do nothing good, except for an ulcer. Make yourself a must-have holiday of the week – a feast of the belly. Treat yourself to goodies, maybe some alcohol. True, while drinking, be sure to control yourself, otherwise there is a great chance in the morning not only to suffer from a hangover, but also to realize that you have written to your ex. It is even difficult to say which of this is more terrible.
- Anger – as a way to let off steam – the equator of all this therapy will be the release of the accumulated anger. Now is the time to go to the gym to work out with the pear. Thus, you will be able not only to put in order emotional stability, but also to take strict control of your thoughts. If you do not have the best relationship with sports, a game console will help you.
- Panic attacks – no matter how unlikely it may sound, but the fact remains: after breaking off relations with someone you love, many people start to show panic attacks. They may be minor, but this is the first bell for you to take control of. Practice breathing techniques – at the time of such an attack, just try to relax, start breathing deeply, while always counting the number of breaths in and out. Of course, this kind of practice will not help much to survive the pain of parting, but it will save your nerves – for sure.
- Take a break – The best cure for depression is work. Whether you like it or not, if a person is busy with work, he simply does not have time to think about how unhappy he is or how bad everyone is. For this reason, we can say this – load yourself to the maximum. Yes, it will be difficult, but it will bring you at least two results: success on your career path (your bosses will surely appreciate your zeal), and the fact that everything that is eating you right now will become so insignificant that it will cause nothing but a grin in your direction …
- Enjoy the loneliness – while undergoing therapy on how to survive parting with a girl, the main thing is not to rush out of the fire and into the fire. True, we are now talking about the fact that after a breakup you should not heal your own heart wounds with other relationships, no matter how tempting this idea may seem to you. Believe me, apart from unnecessary problems, this experience will not bring anything else. Firstly, there is a chance that you will bring pain to a completely innocent girl, and secondly, using this method, you will acquire such a complex of guilt towards yourself and your ex that it will be rather difficult to describe in words. So wait 2-3 months with pairing.
As stated earlier, the above tips are very easy to apply while still being very effective. They do not require large amounts of power from men, both physically and psychologically. Adhering to this algorithm, a man will not only be able to survive parting with a girl, but will also be able to significantly improve his own performance in many ways. Such an adrenaline express pumping.
Of course, after the end of the relationship, faith in a woman, and in all of humanity, is rapidly heading towards zero. The problem for most of us is also that because of such an emotional swing, many become isolated, becoming hardened cynics, whose faith is based only on material things. You can t blame such people – everyone s defensive reaction is different, you just need to focus on not losing your own charisma and faith in a good future during the erection of defensive bastions.