Loneliness offline: how to find your soul mate?
I have been working as a freelancer for many years now. Plus, I live in a non-native city where I don’t have so many acquaintances. Communication comes down to social media and phone calls. And the Internet is always fun, there is someone to chat with and something to discuss. But sometimes I wonder: if it hadn’t happened to me to meet my beloved husband before the rapid epidemic of network addiction, where would I look for him now?
Probably, I would have looked on the Internet – nevertheless, it’s simple: you drive a request for dating sites into Google and safely choose what you want.
And so I imagined that I was lonely and I had no other way than acquaintance on the Internet, and, taking a deep breath, I registered a profile on one of the services. Her husband, of course, was informed that this was all solely for the sake of interesting material. He, of course, was not thrilled, but then he even took part, revealing the cards of the “pickup masters” with which such web establishments are teeming.
Observation number one: the intentions of others depend on the status. Inversion rule
It is worth putting in the questionnaire something like “Looking for a serious relationship” – immediately crowds of overexcited alpha males climb into private messages. The funny thing is that they absolutely don’t care about your status, interests, and so on. They just liked your photo. Well, or you turned up under the arm, like fresh “meat”, which they have not yet tried to taste.
To be rude, to flirt, to turn off, to turn off, to flirt – devil-may-but-no. The guys knock on you solely for the sake of narcissism and mental, and if you’re lucky, then physical, self-satisfaction. They are luxuriously gentle, dazzlingly gallant and fantastically assertive, and they don’t care what you have to say.
And don’t expect that if you want “just sex”, you will get it from the muscular handsome in the picture. Most merge after virtual masturbation of your brain, never asking to meet. Why? Because most of them are only on the Internet. Tolstoy Lions, but in reality they are ordinary … fat lions.
There are, of course, exceptions, there are really nice guys who just need sex. It is not surprising that they choose a girl with an inappropriate status as a victim – for them this is a sign of “not being corrupted.” Men have their own logic …
And vice versa, it is worth setting the status “I am looking for one night”, intellectuals begin to concentrate in messages, almost with proposals of a hand and heart. We all play games, my friend Eric said this a long time ago, but on dating sites these games reach the point of absurdity.
It is worth honestly (in my case, of course, not very honest, but still) to admit that you are looking for a man for sex, questions begin about your literary and cinematic preferences, about work, children, goals and plans in life. To the question of why such a detailed collection of information, the guys answer half-jokingly, but still half-seriously: “I’m looking for a wife.” To a reasonable comment about the status: “So you will have me, not my brain.” Hmm, definitely – there is a rational link in their logic.
How to ignite so as not to burn yourself
Visiting such sites with the real purpose of finding the other half seems to me a very adventurous undertaking, because there are many scammers, gigolos and other cowards who are not able to approach the girl personally. But the statistics are harsh and unforgiving: there are many couples in the world who met in love chats.
Well, as they say, he who seeks will always find. The main thing is to remember a few “chips”:
- Check the information. A handsome man with an avatar is easy to “break through” by searching for pictures in a search engine. The name and surname are driven into the same search engine, and instead of one account on the dating site, we have a layout from Instagram, Facebook and Odnoklassniki.
- If the information cannot be verified in this way, feel free to offer to call in messengers or Skype. Anyone who has nothing to hide will certainly agree. Well, if you refused, it’s not worth wasting time, most likely a deception awaits you behind the line of the display.
- Do not lose your vigilance. Do not give a new friend any data related to personal accounts, words, passwords, etc. Unfortunately, dating sites are favorite sites for bastards. If you are “urgently asked for a loan for an operation to your beloved grandmother” – feel free to block your comrade, no matter how close your communication may be. Know – you are cheated on money. And there can be no exceptions. A man who craves a relationship or just sex will never ask you for money.
- Don’t react to assholes. There are a lot of their varieties. Just silently block spiteful critics and perverts. Enter into a dialogue – you get tired of flowing around. Therefore, do not waste your time and nerves.
- Don’t drag out the virtual romance. If a man shows real interest and wants to continue dating, he will tell you about his plans very soon. If you have been passionately flirting for the second month without a hint of a live date – congratulations, you have met another “levushka”.
And of course, fill out your profile honestly and thoroughly. Anyone who wants to be next to you will study it inside and out before saying the cherished “Hello!”
Article published in Issue 2/12/2017