Each of us has a dark side that we struggle with with varying degrees of success. The shadow, according to Jung s archetypes, is an unsightly part of the personality, squeezed out by our painful pride further into the subconscious.

However, the Shadow appears regularly: in stressful situations or in a period of extreme fatigue, we lose control over it.

How do you know about your dark side? Yes, here it is: it can be seen in numerous projections. Example. Someone annoys you terribly with their laziness. Congratulations, this is definitely one of your suppressed personality traits.

Let s look at love and relationships from the perspective of the Shadows. The strongest affection arises for a partner with whom you can fully accept yourself. Often times, we want to be with a person just because he allows our ego to revel in its own magnificence. You listen to the praise and forget your Shadow more and more. Self-esteem rises before our eyes. It seems that before that you did not know yourself at all and did not know about your super qualities.

It s funny, because in fact we are building relationships with ourselves, and we only need a partner to reflect our subconscious, otherwise it would be difficult for us to start a dialogue with him.

But you can amuse yourself as much as you like that someone has fallen in love with yours “mask“- sooner or later she will be exposed.

And suddenly a loved one turns into criticism! When our ego is toppled off its pedestal, hurtful words resonate with repressed pain from our past mistakes, making you believe someone else s opinion of yourself.

As long as your self-esteem depends on external factors (loves – dislikes, will be with me or leave), you can never find true happiness and harmony. You will enter into an addicted relationship, upon the rupture of which your world will collapse.

Most of all, a person needs not even to be loved, but to accept himself. Global self-dislike is, in my opinion, the main problem of humanity. We are always not smart enough, decisive, beautiful enough to love ourselves for who we are.

It is very important to get to know your Shadow and forgive yourself for your shortcomings. When you accept yourself, there is no constant struggle and self-criticism in your soul, you can become happy with any person.

Alexey Afanasov,
psychologist, leading practice and trainings

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