Never live with your parents! Never and under no circumstances! No matter how hard it was for you … Never! This was written even in the Bible: “A man will be separated from his parents and cleave to his wife.”
If you live in your parents’ territory, you can never build a healthy family.
A husband on the territory of his parents will not be able to become the head of the family. There is already a chapter here. This is the oldest man of the clan.
Will the wife be able to become the mistress of the parents’ territory? No! The owner of this house is the eldest woman of the clan.
When you live with your parents, you are in the role of children. And you must obey and live by the rules of your elders. YOU CAN’T LIVE AS YOU WANT AND THINK RIGHT!
They do not go to someone else’s monastery with their own charter. If you want to live with your parents, be so kind as to obey and live as your parents said. Otherwise, you break the hierarchy. Who is the king on this territory? And the queen? Not you. And the laws are not for you to establish.
And there are simply no chances to build your own separate, healthy family, where your husband is the head, where you are the mistress. And there is no chance of growing up, becoming mature and independent people either. In the parental home, you will always, even at fifty-eight, be in the role of a child.
A young, new family should always live separately. And create your own home.
The family of parents should not adopt a daughter-in-law or adopt a son-in-law. You don’t have to live as one big friendly family. You need to live in two separate families. With friendly relations. Respect for the laws, rules and boundaries of each family. Like two friendly kingdoms.
When can an exception be made?
Not in any!
The topic is not simple. But those who know on their own skin what it is, I think, will agree with me. I tried in a previous marriage. And I realized that never again! And I am sure that one of the keys to our successful family life with my husband is that we have not lived with our parents for a single day.
Irina Krylova, family psychologist, trainer