I was thinking of making an article that would summarize what I think about love as such in its various silhouettes. Moreover, the article was planned to be practical, without the lyrical digressions inherent in the topic – like material from a good textbook. But love theme a priori is largely abstract, if not transcendental. And it is logically understandable that we can only talk about indirect laws accompanying this topic. In general, they will be discussed today. The article turned out not so much about neurotic attachment that is relevant for the majority, but about why unconditional love becomes such.
I believe that every person has his own path, his own psychic hell and paradise, his own lessons and achievements. All this is already there – in the unconscious layers of the psyche. Therefore, self-development is reduced to self-knowledge. We do not invent something new, but allow what is already there to open up. Here I just want to remind you that our experiences are only our experiences, and not some external events and objects. We just release our way from within. And here it is worthwhile to understand and understand by what principle some people are indifferent to us, while others, on the contrary, cause lively and “juicy” mental reactions.
There was already an article on the site where I called falling in love my own inner beauty of a lover – a kind of inner diamond that he projects onto another person. This psychic diamond is blocked by various fears, but under certain conditions it can quickly awaken and shine, making the attention enthusiastically active, as if something extremely important is happening at this moment. And indeed it is. A very important thing happens – a witness of the life happening to us wakes up inside us, that very psychic “contraption” thanks to which we feel alive. Her awakening is the true goal of all spiritual seekers who squander years in contemplative meditation precisely in order to push their mind out of sleep and activate this silent spectator.
But the man in the street, eternally inclined to self-deception and mental manipulation, mistakenly takes his inner light for the outer one, and begins to believe that it comes from external forms in the presence of which it manifested itself. This is how our favorite things and loved ones appear in our lives.
The light of the psychic diamond is, without exaggeration, the light of life itself within us. This is the “sensation” of being, in which all phenomena occur. On this topic, progressman.ru already has a number of articles under the tag “Atman”.
In everyday life, we can state the manifestation of this light by the level of our spontaneous awareness. The intensity of awareness of life here and now depends on the degree of blocking of the psychic diamond. It already exists in our psyche in an integral form, but it is blocked by those experiences that in everyday life we refuse to accept. Most often these experiences are contradictory and painful. And when the inner light shines brighter, along with it “suppressed material” rises to the surface, through which the brilliance of a diamond breaks through. Therefore, self-knowledge is a difficult path, associated with the inevitable cleansing of consciousness from the dump of internal contradictions.
You may have already guessed what I mean by the essence of love. Unconditional love is pure acceptance, a contemplative consciousness that freely conducts all impressions through itself. The psychic diamond is the “territory” of acceptance deeply “inside” our psychic environment.
Dependency of conditional love
And love becomes concrete and conditional from the prism of projections, from the prism of those blocks through which it shines. Therefore, love for the homeland is so dreary, for lovers – weary, for the weak – compassionate (the swype of the android suggested “dollar”), and for entertainment – intoxicating. In this sense, omitting ceremonies, falling in love is mental masturbation.
A typical lover is, in fact, such a vulnerable drug addict, always dependent on the conditions in which he has a high inside. He is like a blind donkey, mechanically following a carrot suspended from his head – only instead of a carrot he has a brain, from the compartments of which he by all means fishes out the eternally desired multiple orgasms.
We are all like that – we are engaged in self-satisfaction, we use each other to open specific lockers of our own psyche. We’re all here making love to our own brains. We are all hooked on scenarios in which such a high acceptance happens to us, like the enlightened ones … Therefore, we miss our beloved people and beautiful things. Beauty is the same diamond inside … “The Kingdom of God is within us …”
We yearn for beauty, because beauty prompts us to be the partakers, the accepting of life in the here and now. Beautiful forms in themselves are just lines, impersonal outlines, the magic of which attracts attention and makes it continuous. At the same time, looking at beauty, something inside opens up and stops blocking the flow of sensations. That is why ascetics spend years in contemplation – simply to learn to let reality pass through themselves regardless of conditions, without resistance, without choice and without doubt. Acceptance is the essence of love.
Inaccessible beauty is painful because it is like a desirable dish that a starving poor man is allowed to breathe without being allowed to taste. The lover feels a hint of freedom and bliss, but much more clearly feels the pain of how this bliss is suppressed inside him. That’s how we working off negative karma we are cleared. At the same time, the desired “dishes” and suffering over their inaccessibility are pure projections of one’s own inability to accept oneself at the current moment of life.
The enlightened, as far as I can tell, love unconditionally, that is, always and everywhere. Love is the essence of enlightenment.
And we – the commoners, made dependent on the eternally stubborn pleasant conditions, are very picky when it comes to our affections. To love ourselves, we use other people, we try to rise and assert ourselves in their eyes, so that, thanks to their love for us, we accept ourselves, feel the buzz – be ourselves … Inner Light”. So we find ourselves in a painful dependence on someone else’s opinion.
In The Mechanical God, I deliberately devote several chapters to this topic. Here are some excerpts:
“I touch her breast, and bliss, piercing my palm, spreads throughout the body, simply because at this very moment my hand is the very acceptance. At this moment, I understand better than anyone else in the world why women hide their beautiful charms – because touching the forbidden fruit raises me above all mortals. To make me feel this divine gift – her power over me. I stroke her body, and I understand why such a titanic cascade of contradictory projections is heaped up around love. “
“… if I accept the person with all her shadows exactly as she is, being accepted in such an all-encompassing way, she can finally relax.”
“When you see a beautiful person, you want to believe that inside he does not have flesh and blood, but a concentrate of divine ambrosia. All of this rests on faith. Falling in love is pure projection, illusion and self-deception, which rests on children’s naive fantasies. With the same success, you can get excited at the sight of a washing machine … Attraction to a living person – self-esteem in its purest form … “
The maturity of unconditional love
By and large, all life’s difficulties come down to the fact that we are here and now resisting our position in reality, and strive for something else, for something that will make life pleasant – that is, suitable for acceptance. This is literally exactly what happens. In some part of the body, almost every person has a continuous “walking” suffering, expressed in dull, and sometimes acute discontent with what is happening.
We do not accept our being in this reality that is happening to us right now, and therefore we strive for the so-called “best”, which, with the power of our hope, looms on the closure of the mind with an orgasmic hint of possible happiness.
And love … love in its very essence is not some sacred “pleasure”, but simple resignation with the very moment in which this life is happening right now. And the fact is that even while loving, we continue to resist life. A specific conditioned kind of love demonstrates exactly where and how we do not accept life, blocking the flow of impressions with those nuances that make unconditional love concrete, aimed at sacrifice object of this our affection “Love”.
The manifestation of unconditional love is a certain kind of maturity of consciousness, capable of accepting what is happening without violence, without trying to remake it, changing it for itself. In this life, it is impossible to master everything, therefore, deep resignation with oneself without beautiful illusions – although not easy, but perhaps the only way to satisfaction with what is happening, does not depend on any conditions.
© Igor Satorin
Other articles on this topic:
- The idealization of falling in love and the joy of love
- A tale of love
- Love and relationships: on the surface and in the depth
- Relief from suffering