Slavic traditions for the harmony in the family

The Slavs had many interesting (and useful!) Traditions regarding the relationship between husband and wife.

Here are examples of some of them. You can use them today.

Mercy

Great working method of psychotherapy, by the way! So, about once a week, the couple stayed at home alone and devoted the whole day to building relationships, mercy. They talked about grievances, experiences; asked for forgiveness for mistakes, discussed the pressing issues of family life.

At the same time, since the time for mercy was still limited, and the issues needed to be resolved so that each side felt satisfied, the partners strove to meet each other halfway.

This tradition has a big plus in comparison with showdown on the go. In the heat of the moment, you can utter a lot of poisonous words, and when the problem is discussed after some time, detached and deliberately, then such a conversation is only beneficial. She not only helps to find a reasonable way out of a difficult situation, but also creates an atmosphere of benevolence and acceptance in the family, and also the confidence that they will definitely listen to you.

The magic of food

Modern scholars of Slavic culture argue that this tradition is one of the most ancient.

The bottom line is that while cooking – and a man and a woman do it in turn – the partner clearly represents and articulates the qualities that, in his opinion, should develop in his half. For example, gentleness, flexibility, courage, determination …

Of course, the meaning of the rite is not to “refine” the partner for the sake of his convenience, but to help him become more harmonious for his own good.

And we add that food cooked with love is really especially tasty and healthy.

Glorification

Another useful tradition, simple and very powerful.

Partners should refrain from accusations and constant claims (a special day has been set aside for a soft resolution of conflicts, which we already wrote about above), but it is recommended to praise and encourage – “glorify” – each other as often as possible.

Indeed, if a person constantly hears that he is a loser, a coward and a fool, he will behave accordingly. If you give other attitudes: “you are the most caring”, “you are the smartest”, “you are the most beautiful” – then this naturally awakens the desire to improve and develop.

Husband combing his wife’s hair

It is no secret that in Russia, long, thick female hair was given special importance. A great many mystical rituals are associated with them.

There was one like this: twice a day, the husband slowly and gently combed his wife’s hair with a wooden comb. It was believed that this strengthens the family, that the man thus receives protection from his wife, and the wife gains peace and strength.

It is important that during the ritual the husband concentrates on positive messages, for example: “Everything is going smoothly and well with you, our family is strong and loving.”

Try it! It’s also very nice.

Wife washing husband’s feet

No, there is no humiliation of female dignity here, the husband is combing his wife’s hair!

When complaints and petty nagging about her husband accumulated or it was necessary to help him – to increase his inner strength, confidence, determination, the spouses went to the bathhouse, and there the wife washed her husband’s feet.

It was believed that this gives a man inner strength and helps to develop the qualities of a protector and earner.

In addition, the Slavs believed that “stupidity”, that is, negative energy, accumulates in the legs. To get rid of it, a ritual of ablution is needed. In this way, a woman helps her husband get away from bad thoughts and memories, relaxes him, and at the same time clears her mind.

With humor about modern wedding traditions

There are cultures for which the observance of traditions coming from the depths of centuries and preserved unchanged the most important part of the wedding. When a person really perceives a wedding celebration as a sacred ceremony full of special meaning, then traditions associate it even more tightly with the cultural code and genetic memory of his people.

As for modern Russia, the current wedding traditions controversial thing. Both in semantic and aesthetic terms.

Ransom of the bride

Oh, these shabby narrow porches in three hundred out of a thousand photographs! Homemade posters, balloons, dubious contests, frantic bridesmaids who suddenly tasted the delightful power of matriarchy and harass the unfortunate groom, and he, poor fellow, is ready to fall through the earth from embarrassment.

Yes, the tradition of ransom is really old. Yes, in Russia it was customary to give fabrics, jewelry and cattle for the bride to show respect for her and her parents – and at the same time demonstrate their wealth.

Only in those distant times it was a festivities on a grand scale and it took place not in a miserable entrance and a cramped apartment, but rushed by a wedding train through the whole village, from the groom’s house to the bride’s house. “Obstacles” were rather ritual in nature, were filled with respect for the groom and ended with a blessing from the parents of the young.

Loaf

Quite a nice patriarchal tradition. The bride should have bitten off an exponentially small piece in order to immediately prioritize roles in the family: the husband dominates, the wife obeys.

Nowadays, the episode with biting off a loaf sometimes turns into a competition “open the jaw at an obtuse angle”, which does not particularly paint a lovely newlywed.

And attempts to change this tradition into a fashionable and modern way … Popcake loaf, vegan eco loaf with chia seeds, mirror glazed loaf with the image of Orion … too much, don’t you think?

First dance

Well, here we will not find fault too much, especially if the young really know how to dance. Then the eternal classics – ballroom dancing, and techno to the adapted adagio from “Swan Lake”, and the dance of loving zombies against the background of frames from “Corpse of the Bride” will look great and perky.

It is worse when the couple does not have any special dance talents, but loves to be original. And instead of a simple and elegant waltz, it tries to portray something described above. It turns out ridiculous and even stupid.

The bride’s bouquet

Carefully! Unmarried bridesmaids are sometimes ready to cling to each other’s hair, just to take possession of the coveted bouquet. Stay away!

And how beautifully this tradition began. In ancient times, the groom himself collected the bouquet, and he chose only special flowers, which were considered amulets for a strong family, fidelity, childbearing, etc.

At the end of the wedding, unmarried girls took a round dance around the bride, and at a certain moment she, blindfolded, held out a bouquet to some lucky woman.

The tradition of throwing a bouquet from behind came to us from Europe, and immediately turned into a fun, but devoid of any special meaning, and sometimes even aggressive action.

Garter Bride

The European answer to the bouquet. Indeed: we have “appointed” a quick wedding to the lucky woman who caught the flowers, now let’s take care of the male gene pool.

But if a hunt is arranged for a bouquet, then unmarried men often shy away from an abandoned garter like the devil from incense.

And to crawl under the hem of a newlywed, to pull off her garter in front of everyone – there is something vulgar in this, is not it?

Some do it – oh horror! – teeth. No comment here.


In general, traditions are a necessary phenomenon, but it is better to include them in a wedding celebration wisely and asking questions: why are we doing this and will we be pleased to remember this after years?