What attracts men in a woman the most?

What attracts men in a woman the most?

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Margarita Lopukhova

– Margarita Lopukhova

Family psychologist. For 8 years now I have been saving “family units” from disintegration. I help couples to find love and understanding again.

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107258, Russia, Moscow, Pogonny proezd, 14с1

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girl bites her finger

According to outdated statistics, men were attracted to a woman by a slender figure, lush breasts and an elastic ass. However, numerous studies have been carried out on this topic, and here are the conclusions: appearance has faded into the background and has not aroused the stronger sex for a long time.

The content of the article

  • 1 What attracts men to women

Sexologists, together with psychologists, have compiled an accurate list of female traits that attract men. Details of the research results in the article.

What attracts men to womeni

The way a woman behaves, what scent she exudes, as he says, is considered an important criterion in choosing for a man. But what exactly is so attractive about these fragile creatures? Maybe it’s just a flick of eyelashes …

  • Sense of humor. According to surveys of most men, in a woman they are attracted by the ability to laugh heartily and, in turn, not be afraid to seem funny. Women choose those who can cheer them up and not offend them with “peculiar” humor, and for men it is important that their jokes are laughed at. Here it is – an uncommon and very important key to the heart.
  • Risky hobbies. Let’s talk about not-so-feminine pursuits. A gray mouse is unlikely to make a man admire her, but a lady with an adventurous hobby will arouse obvious interest. This can be swimming, mountain climbing, skiing, tennis or simple cycling. Such activities bring together and awaken the desire to teach a woman something special.
elegant blonde

However, you should be careful. If a hobby involves discomfort or danger, then it is better to tactfully refuse it. Sexuality, then, should not outweigh.

  • Independence. Men like to look after a woman, to feel that she, in some way, is dependent on him, but they find great attraction in emancipated women. Such people are confident in themselves, they firmly know what they want and how to achieve it. For such men will be ready to do anything. But here’s the bad luck. As soon as a woman begins to ask for help, the desire to provide it begins to evaporate. A man is a conqueror by nature and does not like being asked for something. Such is the system.
  • Emancipation. Men are attracted to moderately open and liberated women. However, this does not mean at all that you need to reveal all your cards and show your true nature in the first minutes. Mysteriousness should be combined with minimal relaxedness. Such a combination will play into the hands of any woman and will endear the opposite sex to her.
  • Education. It is not necessary to understand higher mathematics and have a Nobel Prize in biology. It is enough to get carried away with your favorite business and be able to maintain a conversation. Intelligence will always be in vogue, and smart girls are all the more attractive.
cute girl

  • Kindness and responsibility. You don’t have to be blunt and blunt to attract a man to your camp. Thought: “Will love and such” rarely works. A woman who knows how to find the right approach and smoothly direct the situation in the right direction is appreciated by men in a special way. Kindness shows a woman on the good side, and responsibility signals that in difficult times one can expect support, help and seriousness to the situation.
  • Mature appearance. It seems that a man should be annoyed by rare gray hair, early wrinkles, “adult” makeup. However, no. A lot of people really like the maturity of the image. Research shows that men born to women over the age of 30 tend to choose older women for long-term relationships. This gives confidence in the future, which allows you to create a strong family.
  • Beautiful hair. It is worth noting that healthy and shiny hair is the main attraction for men. The length is not so important in this case. You can make a beautiful styling with a short haircut. Many men prefer a woman to wear her hair down. But there are those who like messy buns on their heads.

It is also noteworthy that the list of unattractive things includes: dyed in an unnatural color, oily and too short hair. Such an image will clearly not be to the liking of the stronger sex.

elegant girl in dress

  • Bright lipstick, clothes. The favorite of men is red. Weakness and strength for a man rolled into one. It symbolizes passion, desire, love and fire in relationships. It is believed that the red color is exciting (resembles the shade of the labia and vagina). But research shows the opposite: it’s all about attracting attention with brightness and originality.
  • Makeup. The makeup story is the opposite. Men prefer a light accent on the lips and eyes. Mascara, glitter and blush are a favorite basic set.
  • Aroma. The delicate fragrant aroma of the perfume, combined with the natural scent of a clean body, captivates the minds of men and makes them trail behind a woman like they are kittens. Light floral or citrus scents are the best options. A sharp negative is caused by bright “grandmothers” or cheap perfumes.

Well-known brands today create lines of unique perfumes “For Him” ​​and “For Her”, bringing together and exciting the mind.

  • Well-groomed nails. A modest manicure and neatly trimmed nails, along with a beautiful styling, defeat men. Despite the fact that the ladies are trying, for the most part, to build up their nails as long as possible, the stronger sex is not happy with this. If the composition of “vampire claws” is complemented by peeling varnish, then there is no need to wait for approval and admiration from a man.
surprised girl

Also, men like it when women with short fingers get longer nails. It gives femininity and charm.

  • Ability to cook. The old adage that “the way to a man’s heart is through the stomach” is still relevant to this day. For men, it is extremely important that their chosen one knows how to cook and can please with a delicious dinner. Cooking is the best indicator of caring and love.
  • The ability to create beauty. If a woman loves to decorate her house, create something with her own hands, be it clothes or interior items, and also come up with unique images for herself, then she will be incredibly interesting to a man. The stronger sex has always been attracted by creative beauties with many ideas for arranging their home and a desire to transform the old into the new.
  • Maternal care. The overwhelming majority of women have a pronounced maternal instinct. They are drawn to take care of children, take care of them and spend almost all their time with them. This behavior is very attractive for men, as it shows the reliability of a woman and her desire to have children, which promises the creation of a strong and healthy family.
beautiful blonde in the kitchen

  • Voice. Men like to be spoken to in a half-whisper. But this tactic is much more intimate, and at first they are attracted by a confident, sensual and melodic voice. Especially if it is combined with an expressive look and a gentle smile.

Now, having figured out which traits are attracting the stronger sex, women may not wonder how to behave in order to please the man of their dreams. Sincerity, naturalness and simplicity are the priorities today. As you can see, it takes a little for magic. However, it can do incredible things too.

Margarita Lopukhova

Margarita Lopukhova


Family psychologist. For 8 years now I have been saving “family units” from disintegration. I help couples to find love and understanding again.

In the modern couple, gender roles have become a very vague concept. Having said that “a man should” or “a woman should”, you can hear a flurry of negativity in your address. Today, no one owes anything to anyone. Men are attracted to a woman by the ability to be independent and self-reliant – the guys no longer want the girl to sit at home and deal exclusively with cooking and children. In turn, women do not expect from guys that they will provide them “from” and “to”. Girls have their own source of income and prefer to remain independent. Everything is changing, and these are definitely positive changes on the path to gender equality.

What kind of women do men like? Relationship between man and woman | Yaroslav Samoilov

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Comments (1) a comment 17

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  1. avatar

    Long thin legs cling to me in a girl. I really like tall girls. I try to meet only with them.

  2. avatar

    Appearance plays an important role in making a guy like him, but if her character is not very good and she is too arrogant, then the guy will not stay long.

  3. avatar

    Guys have so many requirements for a girl, but they themselves are very lazy to take care of themselves. Many people find it difficult to get their hair cut once a month.

  4. avatar

    If a girl does not take care of herself, then it is unlikely that anyone will like her at all with her inner rich world.

  5. avatar

    There are no perfect people. Therefore, there is in every person some peculiarity that catches a person. It is this feature that the guy likes.

  6. avatar

    A girl should combine everything: beauty, intelligence, intelligence, kindness. Then you can definitely hook a man.

  7. avatar

    That’s for sure, some girls go too far when they behave too vulgarly. Then such a girl who is too open just wants to spend the night, but no more …

  8. avatar

    A slender figure certainly attracts. First of all, you pay attention to the appearance, and then to the inner qualities of the girl.

  9. avatar

    And it seems to me that men really like it when girls behave like defenseless and they need the help of a particular man. When they feel that they are strong with this girl, then consider that you have already conquered him)

  10. avatar

    But I like natural girls. Who do not wear short skirts and do not radically change their appearance with makeup. Sportswear and basic makeup. It’s enough)

  11. avatar

    Men are hunters by nature, that’s why they like the smells, voice, appearance of the girl.

  12. avatar

    Men really like strong girls, but it gives them more pleasure to win this strong girl. That they conquered her and now she is with this guy.

  13. avatar

    Of course, I appreciate her kindness and responsiveness in a girl, but if she looks like Freddy Krueger, I will never be with her, and I will not pay attention to her. The girl should take care of herself at least a little.

  14. avatar

    Bright clothes certainly attract attention, but I really don’t like it. When a girl dresses brightly, it means she wants to attract attention to herself, which is more repulsive.

  15. avatar

    I am amazed by men who like a girl to have well-groomed nails, but nevertheless do not pay attention to a new manicure. And in general, they do not pay attention to many things.

  16. avatar

    Men like to be snoozed with like little children. They then become kinder and want to snuggle closer to the chest))

  17. avatar

    I am most attracted by the girl’s long hair. I love when they are loose, well-groomed and natural in color. I also like their smell.

  18. Open comments

Is friendship between a man and a woman possible?

Reading time 8 minutes

The psychology of friendship between a man and a woman is the most mysterious question, for many years psychologists have been trying to determine whether such a friendship exists. Let’s take a closer look at the features of heterosexual friendship, how to establish such friendly relations and save them? Why do friendly feelings arise between a man and a woman, which contributes to their creation?

<< Table of Contents >>

Features of friendship between men and women

Friendship of a man and a woman causes conflicting opinions, some people believe in its possibility, others do not, and girls are more inclined to such a relationship, and the guys understand that it is difficult to maintain such a friendship, the emergence of love is likely.


Why do girls like to be friends with guys, what are the benefits of such communication?

  1. Men think substantively, they can help with advice in solving the situation.
  2. Men are sincere in their manifestations, trustworthy, not inclined to compete with women.
  3. Guys are always attentive and courteous with girls, let them be the center of attention.
  4. Reliable in friendship – obligatory, always ready to help, aimed more at action than reasoning.
  5. Friendly communication helps in the future in building love relationships, promotes self-knowledge and understanding of the opposite sex, characteristics, differences.
  6. A good friend can give advice from a male point of view, help to look at the situation differently.
  7. Men are more truthful in their assessments, do not show envy, they can sincerely rejoice at their achievements, appreciate a new outfit, and give a compliment.
  8. For a young girl, communication with the guys is of great importance, it contributes to the growth of self-esteem.
  9. Communication with men is more interesting – it allows you to look at the world differently, new topics for conversation arise, and the range of interests expands.

Consequently, for girls and women, friendly relations with the opposite sex carry a lot of positive things, while it is worth being confident in choosing friends and being careful in choosing a company.

What are the reasons for friendship between guys and girls?

  1. In adolescence, the influence of hormonal levels increases, interest in the opposite sex, unconscious attraction appears.
  2. Girls are empathetic, can understand, show attention, care.
  3. It is pleasant to be in the company of girls, men like to feel the attention of women, support, positive assessments.
  4. Desire to impress the opposite sex.
  5. The desire to know the girls, the peculiarities of their behavior, thoughts, the desire to receive friendly advice from them.

friendship and sex

Usually, guys prefer male companies for friendship, but during adolescence, more often female and male groups intersect, mixed ones are formed. There is more and more interest in each other. At this stage, friendship is more of a preparation for love.

Are there any friendly feelings without intimate coloring? The psychology of friendship between a man and a woman endows such a friendship with a special status – it is not just friendship and not love, but rather an average. When people just make friends, communicate, there is a feeling who it is – a girl or a man, which causes special feelings. We are opposite in our inner essence, like fire and water, earth and sky, it is the differences that cause a strong attraction between men and women.

Friendship or love?

Psychology of love, love – friendship, how to distinguish friendship from falling in love? – a question that haunts many young people. Communication can be enjoyable, but where is the line symbolizing falling in love?

Let’s try to identify the main differences:

  • love arises, like a flash of lightning, a discovery, a sudden feeling, and a friendly attitude is the result of long communication, a series of meetings, joint activities;
  • love does not have special levels, it exists as a given, it is difficult not to notice, friendly affection has different levels – weak, strong, there may be acquaintances or real friends;
  • love – this is passion, and therefore suffering, presupposes ecstasy and high joy from meetings, but also the torment of parting and experiences. Friendly feelings are not associated with experiences, but rather aimed at the joy of communication;
  • love it is one-sided without an answer, and friendly interaction is usually a reciprocal process – communication, mutual sympathy, the desire to help in difficult situations;
  • love inclined to idealization, a person is real and at the same time becomes special, the best in the world, in friendship we really appreciate a friend, we see objectively;
  • in friendship it is important to feel the understanding of a friend and to feel the similarity of views; in love, a person is constantly looking for answers – is there reciprocity or not, whether they love me;
  • friendship fair and demanding to a lesser extent, love is insanity, constant anxiety, thoughts, even finding reciprocity, a person often feels ups and downs of joy and downsides of mood in moments of separation, experiences.

Friendship or love

The psychology of friendship between a man and a woman makes it possible to understand that friendly feelings are more humane, tuned in to the mutual joy of communication, and are useful for both men and women, but we remember about nature. If you want to maintain friendship and not go to the stage of love, you should adhere to the recommendations of psychologists:

  • Remind you periodically that you are just friends.

    I share sports. Companionship of different sexes has its advantages and disadvantages. The main question is: how do people perceive these relationships, what do they invest in them, see each other as friends, or hope for more?

  • Do not use flirting in communication, transparent hints of a close relationship.
  • Do not play with a person in the family – joint purchases, repairs and other similar matters.
  • Trying to keep your distance, too active communication can turn on other mechanisms.
  • Report that you are not looking for love or – a place in the heart is taken.

The psychology of friendship between a man and a woman determines: such friendly feelings arise as a result of joint activities – common work, team, hobbies, pursuits of interests. You can go to courses, learn foreign languages, play sports together. Companionship of different sexes has its advantages and disadvantages. The main question is: how do people perceive these relationships, what do they invest in them, see each other as friends, or hope for more?

Friendship and sex

The modern world has become more pragmatic, not everyone needs real feelings, there are young people who are just interested in a partner for a relationship. The expression “friendship sex” also appeared. What does this mean and is such interaction possible without a feeling of love? Initially, friendly communication excludes intimacy, and its presence indicates greater intimacy. How should this trend be perceived?

There are 3 options for the development of events:

  1. casual sex with a friend – booze, party, got carried away and here’s the result. What to do next? Forget and remain friends or become a couple, move to the next level of close communication;
  2. friendship for sex – this is a search for a temporary partner to enjoy life, people often feel uncomfortable alone, and this is a simplified version of meetings without obligations;
  3. friendship + sex – friendly feelings are at the heart of the relationship, however, there is also a conscious desire to receive physical relaxation, the rules of the game are established – no obligations, dating continues until the moment of meeting true love, according to observations, it can last up to 10 meetings, then falling in love occurs or one of the partners leaves for to another person.

relationships and sex

Of course, such relationships seem cynical or vulgar, less sublime than love, but they take place in the modern world, while “sex for friendship” is a big risk – it is difficult to meet a real friend, and close intimate communication can ruin a wonderful friendship. It all depends on people, moral principles, life values, priorities.

Friendship between a man and a woman is a reality

Psychologists have established that friendship between a man and a woman exists, which is also confirmed by social polls among the population – 61% of respondents believe in heterosexual friendship, 31% do not. However, the line is rather shaky and friendly communication is possible under certain circumstances:

  • friends have partners, lovers;
  • there is no intimate interest, there has already been an affair, there are friendly feelings;
    communication with married couples.
  • there is a mutual desire to maintain communication at the level of friendship;
  • friendly communication with married couples.

How to perceive when there is a friendship between a man and a married woman or a girl with a married man? Of course, not all spouses approve of friends of the opposite sex for fear of losing loved ones. The crux of the matter goes deeper – when a close friend, other than a spouse, appears, there is a high probability that there is no spiritual closeness and understanding in the family, which creates the basis for friendly relations.

A friend compensates for the lack of communication, mutual understanding, playing the role of a close-minded, dear person. Such attachments often arise on the basis of common interests – music, literature, foreign languages. People are united by common views on life, values, worldview.

It is worth remembering that if a person is sociable and wants to communicate with a large circle of friends, this is normal, but a close friend is an alarming sign for a couple. Such interaction in the event of difficulties with a loved one can become an order of magnitude closer. Often there is sympathy between friends, but they try to keep their distance, keeping the boundaries of independence from feelings.

Love after friendship

Love after friendship

The psychology of friendship between men and women pays special attention to the issue of friendship transformation. Love after friendship is a fairly common scenario. Friendly feelings imply trust, respect, and mutual assistance. The stage of friendship can be a preparation for love, it serves as an excellent foundation for establishing strong family relationships. Indeed, to create a lasting union, you need friendship, love, passion, respect, understanding. A close friend can know a person quite well and understand perfectly. Often, close friends can be a great couple, but they are afraid to upset the existing balance.

As you can see, love after friendship is quite possible and develops perfectly on the basis of friendly feelings, the main thing is that it should be mutual and desired, then there is a high probability of a successful development of events.

Benefits of love after friendship

  • lovers never get bored, have a great time together, have common interests;
  • the partner knows secrets, perfectly feels and understands the loved one;
  • the beloved is already familiar to friends and family, so those around them perfectly perceive the newly created couple, usually support and rejoice;
  • the beloved knows the positive and negative sides of the partner, calmly refers to the shortcomings;
  • a person perceives a partner naturally, there is no need to embellish himself externally or ascribe special qualities;
  • such couples easily find a common language, have an excellent level of mutual understanding.


Negative points

  • if the connection is broken, there is a high probability of losing a friend,
  • it will be extremely difficult to return to the previous level;
  • a person knows everything too much, it is impossible to hide something.

So, friendly relations can perfectly develop to the level of love and bring happiness to lovers, unite hearts, create families.

But the maintenance of friendly feelings after love is rather a myth, because it is difficult for a person to lose love, he prefers to hate or not see, than to be friends, to suffer. Meetings with a former love bring pain and smell of bitterness, it is better to minimize them. Someone will definitely continue to love and experience torment.

But small novels can eventually descend to the level of friendly feelings, people continue to communicate calmly, it all depends on the degree of immersion in a person, was there true love or just passion?

The psychology of friendship between a man and a woman is a rather complex and controversial topic, there are many options for relationships, and friendly feelings can be the beginning and put the development of further love or the end of other hobbies. The main thing is that heterosexual friendship exists if there is a mutual desire to maintain and maintain its fragile balance. And mutual communication, respect, help allows people to develop morally, to better understand the representatives of the opposite sex.

Friendly feelings are even more common than love, they are more disinterested, do not put forward constant demands, give more freedom and trust to friends.

Each independently determines the name of the relationship in which he is and sets the rules of the game.

We wish you all true and loyal friends!

The relationship between a man and a woman in Islam

Islam is a strict religion. But do not forget that its founder, the Prophet Muhammad, lived at a time when slavery, drunkenness and promiscuous sexual relations flourished, which led to the degeneration of the Arab tribes.

So, the strict rules of Islam became a pillar for a society of a new type, which to this day strictly observes its laws.

These are the main traditions of the relationship between a man and a woman in Islam.

1. A man and a woman cannot communicate freely!

Meetings and conversations of heterosexual company for the sake of pleasure are prohibited.

Communication between a man and a woman is possible only if it pursues important and legitimate goals, that is, it occurs within the framework of a work, professional or educational need.

A sympathy has arisen between the young man and the girl, which can develop into something more? Okay, but let their meetings take place under the supervision of their elders, so that everything is decent, modest, without flirting and, therefore, without unnecessary temptations.

What did Muhammad say about this?

One who believes in Allah should not be alone with a woman except in the presence of her mahram. [мужчина из числа ближайших родственников женщины. — Примеч. ред.]for satan will be the third“.

2. A woman must ascend to the marriage bed as a virgin

Islam mandates a man to be extremely delicate with his virgin wife, taking care of her psychological and physical well-being.

This rather harsh law has only one relaxation: a Muslim can marry a woman (and more than one) who was previously married. It is known that Muhammad himself did this when he married widows to give them protection and patronage.

3. Modesty, humility, and again humility

Islam initially tried to curb the powerful energy of sexuality, which is able to subdue a person and control his life. It is believed that sexual attraction, not limited by strict laws, will certainly go beyond what is permissible and wreak havoc in the community.

Hence, there are different departments for men and women in public transport, colleges, schools, mosques, hospitals, and even in homes.

Houses, by the way, are often built in such a way that a male visitor never intersects with women living in their own half – and vice versa.

4. A Muslim woman should dress extremely restrained and strict.

In some countries of the East, this is the niqab and abaya, hiding both the figure and the face; somewhere a woman is limited to a hijab and a dress with long sleeves and a hem. The bottom line is: in front of strangers, on the street, a Muslim woman should be dressed so as not to arouse sexual desire in men. By this, she shows that she should be appreciated for her character, good deeds and to see in her a person, and not a sexual object.

A respectable Muslim woman, dressed femininely and modestly, deserves every respect.

At the same time, Islam encourages a woman to decorate herself when she is at home, because her beauty is for her husband! She can also do this in the company of other Muslim women. Expensive jewelry (which her husband regularly gives her), exquisite outfits, cosmetics – all this is readily worn at home.

So, the status of a woman in Islam is determined not by her external attractiveness and active participation in the affairs of society on an equal basis with a man, but by piety, personal qualities and the desire to preserve her sexuality and charm for the only one with whom she is married.

When a woman is older. Pros and cons

“Love for all ages!” Is an old truth that is not in doubt. Nevertheless, couples with a large age difference are still scrutinized by society under a magnifying glass.

And if a man is ten years older than his beloved, this is already familiar to the eye, then the union of a young man and an adult lady is an endless topic for discussion.

Despite this, young men are increasingly trying to build relationships with mature women, and successful ladies choose young boyfriends as companions. What drives both sides? Let’s take a look and define the pros and cons of such a relationship for everyone.

5 pluses for a woman

  • Self-esteem. When a young man looks at a woman with adoring eyes, she feels like a real beauty.
  • Eternal youth. As the French say: “A woman is as old as her lover.” Therefore, an adult lady always has an incentive to keep herself in shape. And the vivid emotions that a young lover gives make a woman psychologically younger.
  • Live today and now! An adult and wise woman knows perfectly well what she wants from this relationship. In addition, she understands that love and passion are not eternal. Therefore, such relationships are often emotionally saturated, but without unnecessary drama.
  • No baggage of the past. The young partner does not have a heavy burden of former relationships behind him, less cynicism and bachelor habits acquired over the years. The experience of past relationships, which often complicates the life of a couple, is borne only by a woman. And this is half the risk!
  • Sex. The young partner has a temperament that often became just a memory for her peers. Therefore, couples with a large age difference often have complete compatibility in sex.

5 pluses for a man

  • Personal growth. As a rule, a confident, accomplished woman chooses a young life partner. Next to such a lady, a young man feels special, grows up in his own eyes and, accordingly, tries to be worthy of his girlfriend in everything.
  • Rare conflicts. An intelligent woman (namely, such – smart and beautiful – as a rule, young people choose as companions) appreciates a comfortable existence. Thanks to a wise friend, conflicts and quarrels cost “little blood”, if at all. And it is this quality that men value in such a relationship above all else.
  • Independence and personal space. The young boyfriend has much more freedom in such a relationship. And he understands that such freedom is not a sign of indifference, but mutual respect for each other’s personal boundaries.
  • Variety in sex. Girls are inexperienced, and most expect cinematic romance from a partner. An adult woman thinks about how much pleasure she can give herself and her partner, and truly appreciates the joy of sex. It is not surprising that, first of all, young people dream of an older friend precisely in anticipation of luxurious sex. And, as a rule, they are not disappointed in this aspect of the relationship.
  • Friend and mentor. An adult lover has much more experience in all areas, she can give valuable life advice, support in difficult times, talk without hesitation on any topic, direct the aspirations of a young friend in the right direction.


A wonderful picture is taking shape, isn’t it? Well, now let’s see what pitfalls await a couple in this world of wisdom, harmony, eternal youth and sex.

  • Who is the head in this house? If a man, despite his young age, has leadership qualities, he will strive for leadership in relationships. And here for a wise woman (despite her greater life experience), the only option is to yield. If she is not ready for this, the relationship will quickly fizzle out.
  • Plans for the future. Huge difficulties await a couple if they have a different outlook on a joint future. For example, a woman dreams of living with a young friend in a quiet family harbor, surrounded by happy children, but the young friend is not yet ready for this. He, of course, does not mind, but in ten years, and for his girlfriend, time is ticking rapidly …

Or, on the contrary, a young man wants to become a father, and his beloved has children of the same age as her boyfriend, and she is not ready to go through the joys of motherhood again …
The only option is to honestly discuss all the nuances in order to know exactly what the partner expects from the relationship.

  • Jealousy. This monster awaits lovers on both sides. Over the years, a woman may lose her former confidence and begin daily counting wrinkles, and a young man, due to his young temperament, will suspect his beloved of endless adultery – he thinks that such a queen will easily find a replacement for him, especially in bed …
  • Disappointment. If a man does not grow, does not develop, he may simply bore his older girlfriend.

And a man may eventually become disappointed (after all, young people are such maximalists!) If he initially idealized his beautiful lady and their great love too much.

  • Money. Differences in financial position can become a global problem. As a rule, if a woman is ten to twenty years older, she earns much more. There are many scenarios here:

– the guy suffers from the fact that he cannot provide his beloved with the standard of living to which she is accustomed;

– the boyfriend happily accepts any help, and in the end the woman sees in front of her not the beloved, but the banal gigolo;

– the couple is trying to find a compromise, but good intentions are broken on reality (what to do if she is used to flying business class, and he prefers to hitchhike?).

Happiness, as you know, is not about money, but often it is they who can destroy it …

Do unequal couples have a future?

As you can see, there are approximately equal pluses and minuses in a union where the woman is older. You can give examples of both long and harmonious relationships, and short passionate novels. But the main feature of such an alliance (we are now deliberately not talking about great love) is that this relationship is convenient. Comfortable for both a young man and a woman. This means that such an alliance has long-term prospects.

Lyudmila Ivanovskaya,
psychologist, trainer, specialist in the field of relations

and family constellations

When a woman sacrifices everything for love

Since ancient times, people have made sacrifices to their gods. It just so happened. Higher powers will not be supportive if they are not appeased. And to this day, we carry in ourselves the genetic memory that happiness is a reward for the sacrifice that we brought to our idol… In love relationships and family life, this scheme is still in demand. And more often than not, it is women who bring careers, hobbies and favorite entertainment to the altar of great feelings. But what about? Love requires sacrifice!

Let’s see, does a great feeling really need sacrifice? And who really needs self-denial and suffering?

More often than not, sacrifices in the name of love are most needed by the one who makes them. After all, sacrifice is rarely a secret: sooner or later the whole world will know about it. Because sacrificing yourself on the sly, without admiration and sympathy from the outside is somehow meaningless. And how beautiful it sounds: “I sacrificed my career for you!” (or: pilates, raw food, weekly bachelorette parties). And life immediately fills with meaning, and love seems so strong, because “I’m ready for anything for him”

At the same time, the man, perhaps, does not even know that his beloved quit smoking for his sake, and not for his own health; that daily coffee in bed for her husband turns out to be a duty, not a pleasure for her; that all the housework that she has taken upon herself, she pulls martyrically, like a heavy cross.

The man is already accustomed to the fact that all this is in the order of things; he has no other way of living together now. But sooner or later reproaches will fly to my husband – “I am for you … and you …” And he didn’t even know that this, it turns out, was the Great Sacrifice on her part!

Most often, such an altar sincerely puts all its strength into a loved one, uses every opportunity to help him realize himself, make a career, and become the best. At the same time, there is neither strength nor time left for oneself. A woman believes with all her heart that the sacrifices she makes will return to her a hundredfold in the future. But often it turns out to be not as rosy as she imagined.

The reason is simple – she invests only in her beloved, she does not make any investments in herself. And over time, her chosen one, who has reached heights, either leaves a bored, uninteresting wife, spitting on all her sacrifices, or stays with her only out of pity: after all, she did so much for him. But he does not love and does not consider her as equal. Sacrifice is not at all attractive and not sexual at all.

What kind of women sacrifice themselves?

  • Insecure – they consider themselves unworthy of love and happiness “just like that”, without sacrifices.

  • Those whose mother behaved in a similar way with dad – they absorb this model from childhood as the only correct one.

  • Those who do not want to take responsibility for their own mistakes and failures (“It was because of him that my life did not work out, I sacrificed everything for him!”).

  • Dependent on the opinions of others – thus they create in the eyes of society the image of the great martyr.

  • Financially dependent on their husbands – they loudly voice to the spouse what sacrifices they make for him, thus trying to keep their “money bag”.

Who ultimately suffers from such sacrifice? And everyone suffers! It is hard and unpleasant for a man to constantly hear that he has ruined his youth, his best years, and the whole life of his beloved woman. It’s unpleasant to live with guilt.

Yes, and at some point it becomes clear to the altar: the deity does not answer her, does not repay it with love and care … and, what is even sadder, finally realizes that no one needed these sacrifices at all!

Is true love possible without sacrifice? I am sure that it is possible. But without mutual concessions – no.

It’s important to realize that out of line walking the dog, skipping a workout to cook dinner, or watching a soccer game together are the compromises every couple needs. Don’t consider them a victim.

But if you feel an urgent need to sacrifice everything for the sake of your beloved, if you certainly want to do something heroic to please your partner, be prepared for the fact that such a feat will cause admiration only for you. And no one will appreciate it.

Love is a bright feeling. She should bring joy and pleasure to both. Don’t spoil your life with unnecessary suffering.

Lyudmila Ivanovskaya,
psychologist, trainer, specialist in the field of relations
and family constellations


How much irony and skepticism we hear in our voice when they talk about female friendship, how much mistrust in the phrase “business woman”, and how much sarcasm when mentioning “female logic”. But at the same time, we all live together in one World. And the rules of this World are closer, of course, to those of men. Yes, women live in a masculine world and they themselves are already accustomed to the fact that the feminine in this world is ridiculed and devalued and, in revenge, the feminine began to distrust and fight against the masculine.

Men in power are natural, and women are an exception. Men have already organized, ordered, decomposed and regulated everything they could. They described this World. What is left for Women?

There are two options – to rebel and fight against the injustice of the male World, or to play with pleasure in the quest game called “The Life of a Woman in the Male World”.

For the same sake, for the sake of justice, I must say that men set not the worst rules of the game, but if you look closely and get out of the trench and push the helmet off your forehead … Yes, from time immemorial a woman was afraid and “pacified” by religion and bonfires, but she is herself I didn’t really trust either. We can continue to live in this distrust of Men and ourselves, or we can do otherwise … The war always ends inside, and not in the expectation that the enemy will surrender. It’s just that one of us has to stop it. And, yes, now there will be one more alleged “injustice” – we – Women must do it. I understand, I accept, I empathize with the rising wave of indignation. “Up to the stake?”, “They have us for millennia …” and our beloved “all men are good …”.

Then let’s fight on? Just straighten your helmet, dear – “Our proud Varyag does not surrender to the enemy”!

But, each of us, in our depths, knows that we are tired of this war. Very. And they, Men, are also tired of disrespect for the male, passed down from generation to generation.

Let’s say STOP this war. Men invented this World, rule this World, but if Women refuse to give birth in this World, it will die. This means that there is in the rules the preservation and protection of the feminine. When we are, women are ready to see it. Well, it’s just that the helmet gets in the way … slipped back into my eyes …

I can say without exaggeration that the Women’s Time is coming! Politics and business – everything has become available to Women and that is why now we especially need to remain Women. It is extremely important for us not to lose femininity in the heat of our social realization. We did not know, or maybe we forgot, or we were helped to forget that the ways in which we are realized are different from those of those who organized this world. The Woman has her own tools, her own ways and methods. If we live in a male World and use male algorithms, this will be a very tough World. This is the time of Kali-yuga – the Iron Age.

But after the “Iron Age”, a renewal of time begins, a new era, and it depends on what each of us chooses how long we will remain in a state of martial law. Yes, psychologically a person changes for a long time, in stages, and this process is incredibly subtle and multidimensional. Even in the Ancient World, in Greece, they understood the special role of Women in human society. The people in which the Woman is a slave will never be free. For a slave can only raise a slave. An oppressed, psychologically oppressed woman who is devalued cannot bring up a psychologically calm, confident person living with the idea of ​​goodness and freedom, whether he is a Man or a Woman. Children, on the other hand, feel us, they are a reflection of us. Whether we are afraid, whether we are happy, whether we are free, whether we are afraid – children feel everything. Remember your mothers, how we felt them subtly. And how often and to this day we are ruled by what prevented them from living. Everything in the world is interconnected. And the task of the Woman is not to break ties, but to strengthen them, fill them with new content. And remember – that she is a Woman!

If we continue to fight all the time and point out to men that they do not correspond to the idea of ​​masculinity, then men will step aside, and we will be forced to deal with men’s affairs ourselves. We will waste strength, time, energy. What, in fact, is happening. Well, how can I stop controlling? You can’t trust him! All by herself! All by herself! And then again a friendly female chorus: “The men have been translated, oh, they have been translated …” They have translated, it will be more accurate to say. They were shot aimingly from the trench, in case they would not cause pain. True, they still cause, but the illusion of control somehow facilitates perception.

What to do? Stop firing explosive bullets at their self-esteem. Do not plant mines of mistrust under the auspices of “Well, I told you so!” Stop the war within yourself. First, take care of yourself and your inner world. Bury the trenches and plant roses there. Make yourself good inside. Stop waiting for attack and betrayal. Do not perceive a Man as a “Trojan horse” for which the main thing is not to open the “gate”. To see that in this situation there will immediately be an increase in energy, which is a source of Inspiration. Learn to be inspired and inspire again. Be a Muse, not an overseer whip.

And stop the internal dialogue on the topic: “Well, what are they? I’m here to work on myself, and they? ”

As soon as you plant pelargonium in that very helmet, and pour roses in the trenches, you will be surprised to find that there is no one to fight with. And Men are already passing laws to protect rose bushes at the state level. Because it is more pleasant to keep the world than to fight for it.

And now the Muse has an endless field both for rose bushes and for playing Life with pleasure.

And how to stop fighting every day and remember how to be that very Muse, we will figure it out at the “Conscious Femininity” marathon.

Our Circle is open – take your FAVORITE places!

How to make a man run after you

Why does a man humiliate a woman

The question that worries all absolutely women is why men are constantly trying to humiliate them? Probably no one fully understands this. In this matter, not only psychologists can be competent, but all women who have lived a difficult life. They raise children, give them their whole soul, and only because they have something to live for they endure humiliation and insults all the time. Only one thing can unite tyrants and gentle, affectionate guardians of family comfort – a sense of duty.

It is necessary to start from the very beginning in order to fully understand all the reasons for this behavior in men. So, everything starts from the most significant day in the fate of every woman – a wedding. Marriage in itself means that now there is a person with whom you want to live your whole life and share joy and grief. This wonderful day simply cannot but remain in the memory of women, as they begin to create their own family, where they will be bereginians and loved ones.

But everything can change over time or immediately after marriage. Every person has a different life. And no one will be able to say who your chosen one and loved one will be when he becomes a husband. Will he also compliment, give flowers and make surprises? Or maybe he will find fault with trifles and try to reproach every time that you are a bad hostess or that you have not dressed in the right way, behaved wrong, and this can all be expressed in a rude form.

It seems that everything, you can always be together without thinking about anything, but the husband just begins to change before our eyes. For what? You ask yourself repeatedly, but you don’t hear the answer. And not having figured it out, leaving everything as it is going with the flow, now taking it for granted. Maybe initially there was some hope in you for a change for the better, but know that they will not be

What could be the reasons for this behavior of a man?

It is necessary to disassemble everything in order to answer this question:

  1. He is afraid that you will begin to disturb the space that was only his own. Before that, there were always friends, rest at any time and some activities and what household chores might be. Of course, any woman will try to train her precious, but believe me, it will be even worse. Everything can end up with an inadequate reaction.
  2. Your marriage was the mistake of your youth. The question arises, why then live together, not allowing you to try something else? A little time will pass and both spouses will face accusations of wasted years and wasted time. Naturally, insults will begin.
  3. Upbringing. This is probably one of the most important reasons. Even in childhood, we hear how our parents communicate with each other, what they say to each other, how they solve life problems. And if the father constantly humiliated his mother, then this will become the norm for the child. This is how all other women become insignificant.
  4. Spouse’s behavior. Women are different, just like men and can be divided into categories. Some love and value their other half, while others blame the man for the fact that there may be some problems, begin to insult and humiliate him, showing that he is no one and nothing. Think about what you can get in return? Of course, insults of the same kind, if it does not come to assault.

What to do when a man starts to offend?

It is always necessary to find a compromise. And not only a woman, but also a man should think about this. You can sit down and talk in a calm atmosphere, without any accusations or insults. Never reproach each other for anything. If the spouse does not have a desire to communicate, then do not force him, do not impose yourself on him. If the conversation has begun, then just ask why he offends you… Often the cause can be jealousy, which no one likes to talk about and admit.

Suppose that the conversation between you took place and went quite calmly. Draw conclusions. Think over everything from start to finish, try to understand it. It is also possible that his behavior was so aggressive, for some important reason. Give him some freedom. Let him start to get bored, want to hug and quickly return home. You, too, do not sit within four walls, waiting for his arrival. Every woman wants to see her friends, go shopping, beauty salons. So rest from each other.

There are many things you can advise, but you need to do the right thing by choosing one of the proposed options. As much as the wife tries to understand her husband, the husband will try to understand his other half. Of course, this does not apply to men who just love to be bullied and get great pleasure from it. You can call them mentally unbalanced people and you just have to run away from such people. Conversations, persuasions and explanations will not help. It’s just useless.

What should women do who endure humiliation and abuse on a regular basis? Everything can be combined with beatings – the worst option. Of course not to endure. There is always where to go, who to turn to. If you have children, take them with you. Better for them to live and not see all this horror. And remember, in the future, they will repeat the fate of their parents. Wives will be beaten and humiliated. And girls will not reckon with men. That’s better? Or can you do it differently?

Only women need to solve this problem.… Men are like little children. They will not be able to overcome the constant desire to have power over someone, but naturally they always choose the weakest. In a family, not only wives, but also children can suffer. Although they are not guilty of anything.

Therefore, it is imperative to think very well about your life with the person you want to see next. Communicate more with your future spouse and try to see in him not a prince on a white horse, but a living person. Accept all of its shortcomings and decide whether you will live with them or not. And after marriage, nothing will change, especially for the better. Men are hunters and are always looking for prey. They should not kill another person morally from idleness and lack of fulfillment, and when they are ignored, it is possible also physically.

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  • Posted in
  • Male psychology


There is a version that in the middle of the 6th century the Macon church council considered a very difficult problem – whether a Woman has a Soul and whether it can be considered a human. Why am I writing that there is a version, because there are different versions of the decision adopted at this council. That is, it is not known for certain what conclusion the spiritual fathers came to. According to one version, almost half of the clergy present categorically rejected even the very idea that a woman can have a soul, and only with a margin of one voice, the council of the Christian church recognized that a woman, although she is a being of a lower order, has everything there is still a kind of soul. According to the second version, they nevertheless rejected even the very idea of ​​the spirituality of the female nature and the Council refused the woman in the presence of a soul, in connection with which the label “misogynistic” was entrenched in it. How it was “in reality”, only those who were there know …

The philosopher Aristotle believed that “a woman is a woman due to the absence of masculine properties, therefore we must see a woman in a being suffering from natural inferiority.” This is how, unfortunately, we live, still not understanding who we are. The self-worth of a woman was greatly broken because of the fear of the spontaneity of female nature many centuries ago. Therefore, even now, having received equality, women sometimes so zealously defend their rights. Therefore, there is a “war of the sexes” and unconscious fear, all the same keeps the trigger cocked.

We were not taught from childhood to be a Woman. Rather, we heard a certain reproach: “Well, you’re a girl!” But they did not understand, and what does it give me? Restrictions? Can’t I? Girl – how’s that? Here I would explain to my mother and show how it is, but the problem is that our mothers were also brought up in the paradigm that one should be a good person, not a woman. As if sexuality (the principle of gender) is less important than a person as a social being. And so we live, realize ourselves and at some point with surprise we find out that something is wrong … They wish us happiness for all the holidays, but somehow it is not felt. That is, we can experience joy, pride, exultation when, for example, our athlete rises to the podium at the Olympics. All together, men and women, uniting as a nation, as people. But where does personal happiness live?
And it is to live yourself in your sexuality! Be realized as men and as women! A woman will not be happy if she does not love, if she does not live like a woman, if she does not feel herself and her elemental nature.

There is one study by Australian biologists that during the entire existence of life on earth, female chromosomes have remained unchanged, and male chromosomes mutate all the time. There is even an assumption that the male Y chromosome is a mutation of the female X chromosome. In general, the Woman of the Creator was completely satisfied, but he is still polishing the Man.
Therefore, the Woman remembers herself and thus reveals her femininity and accepts her sexuality. A woman is already whole from birth, but fragmented by society and fears. Our entire Path is an assembly of our own unique holistic mosaic inside of who you ALREADY are!

Fortunately, now we live in a World where a Woman no longer needs to defend her right to a Soul. But to fight with the male in this world “just in case”, so as not to be taken away, is also not necessary. Happiness, as the only beacon, leads us to where the same Soul wants – to a state of integrity and harmony. And for a Woman, harmony comes only where she is manifested as a Woman, where she can be herself!
And at every moment we make our inner choice: am I a Woman or a man? Am I a sexless social creature or am I the one who breathes, feels, lives like a Woman? These are two completely different lives – the life of a man and the life of a woman.
What do you choose?

Why is a woman given trials?

A woman’s life is filled with many beautiful and inspiring moments. Meeting a lover, giving birth to a child and communicating with a dear friend – all this gives strength and makes us happy. But life offers its own tests to each of us. And then the eyes are filled with tears, longing overwhelms the soul, and the heart aches with pain. We may not understand why we get this test again and again … And wish it would end as soon as possible …

We happily remember moments of happiness, but can we appreciate difficult situations, see their essence?

When a woman is faced with pain, this is the moment of initiation.

It depends on how a woman copes with this pain whether she will pass this initiation or not. And if it does not pass, then the situation will return and intensify until the woman finds the courage to cope with it.

Initiation is the initiation of a woman into a Woman. And the main task is to keep love in your heart. And this in spite of everything, and by all means. Do not become tough, embittered, vindictive … Do not decide that life is g … and all men are goats.

In order to keep love in her heart and increase it in any circumstances, a woman needs courage. A real man shows courage when he overcomes external obstacles, achieves goals or confronts the enemy. A real woman shows courage when she retains within her heart the ability to love in any circumstance.

Initiation is always associated with pain. To surrender to her lover for the first time, a girl needs to go through pain. But after that she becomes a woman.
To become a mother, a woman needs to go through pain. And this pain is considered natural and sacred.
Other types of initiation should also be considered.
The highest level of female initiation is the experience of heartache. When we are faced with betrayal, disappointment, loss of faith … There is a deep meaning in such trials of life. At these moments, it is very important for a woman not to lose the feeling of faith in herself as in a Woman, to keep her heart capable of loving and protecting her feminine space within herself.

Irina Krylova,
family psychologist, trainer, coach

What does it mean to be a woman?

The mere fact of being born in a female body is usually not enough for us to live this life like a woman. For a Woman to be born, this birth must take place in the Heart and in the Body. And a woman cannot gain anything from arguments, discussions, mental battles. Mind deciding to be a Woman will not work. A woman “turns out” from inner silence, unity with herself, from feelings and subtle sensations.

We remember ourselves, we remember what it is to BE A WOMAN! A woman is not just a certain period of the life cycle when we are in the childbearing period. A woman is a state from the first to the last breath! Even through the girl, the feminine is manifested, it already exists and does not go anywhere during menopause. From the first to the last breath! You’re a woman! If you remember and choose this at every moment of your Being! You were a woman in the beginning, you are a woman now, and you will remain a woman in the end.

The Woman has a unique Power (Sidha) – this is motherhood at all levels. This is not only the birth of new people. This is all that arises in the Female field (thoughts and feelings) – will be borne and born and will live on. Therefore, at all times, Women knew this sacred information – your thoughts and feelings are what then gives birth to a new World. Don’t like the World that was born? There is no one to blame … You are the Great Mother of your creation. This is not about the fact that: “Excuse me, I also … destroyed the chapel? “No, that was before you, in the fourteenth century.” Women tend to take on themselves “sins” for everyone … But the wisdom of balance is precisely in understanding their personal responsibility for what happens in the World without excesses.

And also a Woman is capable of conceiving, bearing and giving birth to herself … New herself! Like a pearl, layering layer upon layer of your understanding. Not like a man, through a revolution (we will destroy and rebuild), namely like a woman, through evolution, without rejecting all the previous Path and experience. And then the Pearl becomes unusually beautiful with its mother-of-pearl – an experienced and integrated female experience.

We all give birth from ourselves. From his personality, identity, psyche, subconsciousness, outlook on life. The way we will be – this is how we will “give birth” to the World. A lot depends on the Woman. From whether WHO IS SHE remembering? Does she do the most important thing – herself and her inner World! Her true prayer is a prayer for harmony with oneself, for understanding oneself, for loving oneself!

A woman who is not aware of herself is not aware of her Power either. And then she only knows how to flirt and seduce in order to find what she is looking for outside – self-worth! Do not be afraid of material women, be afraid of those who are not confident and disappointed in themselves! This explosive mixture will be worse! The one that does not love herself and will lead you to dislike. He has a war with himself inside him and grenades of doubt are torn, fragmentation scattering in all her connections with people. With all our Power, sometimes we, Women, fall upon ourselves and instead of silence inside we have a cannonade of claims to ourselves and to the World. What do we give birth to from the state of War? That’s right, the cruelty of the World.

For many centuries, women believed that they had to sell themselves “at a higher price” – a good education, a prestigious job, successfully marry a husband. Greatness cannot be sold. Too expensive. And here a deep fear of loneliness is born. Remembering yourself is very scary. It is more convenient and safer to be “in a dream” of ignorance. But the cost is also very high for such a “dream” – this is Life not lived by you. A life not lived like a woman in a woman’s body. Women don’t understand how powerful they are. They do not understand the Power of creativity, which lies dormant inside each of us.

Where to begin? How to wake up from this “dream” of forgetting yourself?

• Transfer attention to yourself (what happens to me is important)
• Empower yourself with your feelings (no grades)
• Trust your feelings and your intuition
• Reveal your sexuality and not be afraid of sexual energy
• Accept the fate of their parents for the full “cost” they “paid” in their lives for their experiences without judgment
• Remember that in your relationship with your parents you are only a child (do not take on heavy things that do not belong to you)
• Clear life scenarios from resentments, claims and prejudices.
• To be able to address the “subtle” World, to connect the subtle and dense World in oneself
• Create Beauty and Harmony by yourself

It was in order to start the process of “remembering” oneself in a safe Feminine space that I created the “Matrix of Feminine Happiness” course. A woman is happy when she is whole! When all of its parts are put together. We will open our deep memory, written in our Matrices. This course is the foundation that will become your inner fulcrum and the point of no return. Revealing your true femininity, you realize your uniqueness, you will be able to harmoniously build relationships with men and be realized in society easily and with pleasure.
And then you will be able to breathe deeply and relaxed from a new state: “Being a woman is happiness!”