“My husband cheated on me means he doesn t love anymore! ” – this is how most women reason. However, for half of men, love and fidelity are not the same thing at all. They can be very fond of their spouse, but for many reasons they have a mistress. Why? Let s figure it out.

5 types of men who cheat most often:

  • adventurers and players;

  • narcissistic narcissists;

  • amorous natures;

  • insecure men in their thirties;

  • disliked»Husbands

Top 10 reasons that push husbands to cheat

one. The most common reason is of course new love

Fresh feeling, alluring forbidden fruit – and a man in love by all means strives to win the heart of a beautiful lady. The hunter s instinct turns on. Excitement and pheromones make it possible to feel alive, young, attractive again. If she reciprocates, nothing will keep him from the temptation to enter into a relationship with his beloved.

2. Very often they push for treason complexes… Uncertainty in their masculinity and potency. When sex life with his wife has become boring (after years he simply cannot want a wife, as before) and annoying fiasco occurs in his bed more and more often, a man needs to assert himself on the side. With an attractive young mistress, he again feels like a “man”.

3. Treason like pursuit of adventure in the style of the addictive spy game “Catch Me If You Can”. Secret meetings under fictitious pretexts, travel and vacation romances a great way to feel like the hero of a novel.

4. Many change from despair… Just as some people seize depression or drink alcohol over failure, others seek solace in sex. Often, due to character or upbringing, a wife cannot give her husband what he needs so much. For example, a man needs warmth, attention, sympathy. If the wife does not satisfy these needs, he is drawn to the one “that will understand and love.”

And some husbands are embarrassed to embody their secret (and shameful, as they think) fantasies with their wife. And with a strange woman, whose opinion does not bother them, or even a prostitute – easily.

five. Husbands are cheating when love died, only habit, a sense of duty and obligation (children, mortgages, common property) remained. Often in such formal unions, people have been pulling the web of relationships for many years, not wanting public condemnation, fearing the changes and difficulties that follow the divorce. It happens that the spouses live in different rooms, like neighbors, and hardly communicate. But the need for love and sex does not go away, and you have to look for them on the side.

6. Bad example an authoritative person for her husband. For example, if the father cheated on his mother all his life. Or the best friend is dating two women in parallel and does not consider it shameful.

7. Loyalty and strong relationships are not in vogue. today. We are broadcast from screens, published in glossy and fashionable books: “a man is as good as the number of women he had”, “an alpha male fertilizes the maximum number of females”, “men are polygamous.” And it s hard to feel cool if, for example, your wife the first and only woman with whom you had something. Over time, I want to know more and more, but what about others.

eight. Often the husband begins to cheat when the wife grew cold to him. It is not necessary that she herself slept with someone. A person also feels spiritual betrayal and does not want to measure up with it, because men are terrible owners. The thought that you love your spouse, and she is no longer you, is unbearable. Sometimes it seems like the only way to deal with the pain take revenge on her with the other.

nine. Total control and excessive jealousy of the wife will make the husband ultimately cheat out of spite. In order not to suffer from unfair accusations. At least there will be something to receive!

10. When a wife clings too much to her husband, the man feels it. He knows that she loves much more, and begins to take advantage of it. Especially if he has already been convicted of treason and forgiven – which means that he can do it again without serious consequences.

Why does a man cheat, but does not leave

Why leave? Most men do not like change, preferring stability and comfort. If for a wife cheating on her husband this is a tragedy, a spit in the soul and a terrible betrayal, then a man can perceive this as a completely natural part of life. Everyone lives like that. Wife in the end the closest relative, the mother of my children, we ate a pound of salt together. And the mistress like an exciting trip to get some rest from the routine. What is the point of turning a mistress into a wife if in the end it will be the same with her and all the charm of such a relationship will disappear?

What to do

The problem of treason, in my opinion, is not in the very fact of having a relationship with another woman, but in the undermining of trust and spiritual intimacy between spouses. No wonder some couples agree on an open relationship. This is one of the options for the peaceful resolution of the conflict, but only very few people suit it.

Dear women, if you find out about your husband s betrayal: it s up to you whether to forgive him or not. You have the right to both, and you should not care about the opinion of others on this matter.

In any case, you should not suffer in silence. But, if you want to save the marriage, refrain from telling your husband what he is … (here are obscene words). This is not constructive. Better tell us about your feelings. What pain this news has caused you, how unhappy you are, and what a deceived fool you feel. Among men, there are few notorious scoundrels who want to humiliate their wife with treason, instill in her a bunch of complexes and make her suffer. More often than not, when the truth is revealed, they themselves feel very bad.

If your husband does not want to reckon with your feelings, you have every right to break off the relationship.

And if you are both ready for a dialogue and want to solve the problem, it is best to turn to a psychologist. Do not involve family and friends, their opinion will be subjective and unlikely to help. You need an independent arbitrator.

Some couples, after a serious test of betrayal, leave, even enter into new relationships, but … after a while they converge again, realizing that they have no one more dear to each other. And then a new round of relations begins, contributing to the spiritual growth and closeness of the couple.

Alexey Afanasov,
psychologist, leading practice and trainings

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