Strenuously typing a comment on a topical post, press “send”. Bam! Someone got ahead of you, and even removed the thought from the tongue! All that remains is … to like it. You go to his page, photo, video, audio … This is it! Dream man! (C)
Now people spend the lion’s share of their free (and some craftsmen – and working) time on the Internet: social networks, blogs, online magazines. The Internet delivers everything: useful information, news, entertainment and communication. Language clubs, libraries, discussion thematic meetings – everything is now available on the couch. If you wish, you can practice the foreign language you are studying with a native speaker from anywhere in the world. And some manage to combine business with pleasure and … Find a life partner!
Is it realistic to get to know an adequate person on the Internet?
• According to information from Hitwise, dating sites in 2009 saw a 12% increase in traffic compared to the previous year, and revenue from most of the market participants also increased.
• According to statistics, online dating accounts for 45% today.
• 16% of our compatriots are looking for a companion for life on the Internet, 29% are counting on long-term, strong relationships.
Tags: psychology of relationships, acquaintance on the Internet, communication on the Internet, acquaintance
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Home page / Man and woman / Articles / Is it worth dating on the Internet?
Recently I learned the story of one of my colleagues who met an interesting young man on a social network. The novel arose serious and there were even talks about living together, while all communication was carried out exclusively via Skype and e-mail. This case surprised me very much and raised the question, is it really possible to find love through the Internet? Moreover, so many are now getting to know each other.
Valery Sidelnykov, Shutterstock.com
The pluses of this trend include the fact that dating has become more accessible. Without meeting in real life, you can find suitable candidates and communicate, getting to know each person better. This is an absolute plus for a city dweller, who, as a rule, has a shortage of time to establish acquaintances.
To this we can add that every year the number of couples who met through the Internet is growing. Surely there are similar examples among your friends. This alone suggests that there is a benefit from online dating.
4. Internet communication is time consuming.
Virtual communication takes a lot of time, while a real meeting in many cases immediately puts everything in its place. While we are building virtual images, waiting and wasting time, the very first meeting often gives an answer to the question whether this is my person or not.
So, we conclude that dating through the Internet has its own characteristics, both positive and negative. To avoid the latter, you need to test your feelings and build relationships already in the course of real communication.
Tags: psychology of relationships, dating on the Internet, communication on the Internet
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Home page / Psychology / Articles / What are the pros and cons of online dating?
How to fill out a form on a dating site correctly?
According to statistics, every third Internet user is registered on one or more dating sites. At the same time, not everyone succeeds in getting to know each other online. Largely because people do not know what they want, who exactly they want to meet, do not know how to communicate, and also fill out the questionnaire incorrectly. Even such a “trifle” as an incorrectly drawn up profile can make acquaintance on the Internet impossible. What are the main mistakes users make when filling out a questionnaire on dating sites and how you really need to fill out such a questionnaire – information in our material.
Should I fill it up or not? Many women generally neglect to fill out the questionnaire. Wanting to get to know each other, for some reason they do not consider it necessary to tell anything about themselves, standing in a pose: “Ask me questions, and I will answer.” It won’t work that way. Most users will regard this as a frivolous attitude towards dating and a lack of motivation and will just “pass it by.” Will pass by, even if you have spectacular photos. Experienced users in the absence of personal data may regard them as fake (fake).
What to write about? Most dating sites don’t have to come up with anything. It is enough to answer the template questions and fill in the sections created by the site administration. Monosyllabic answers equate to their complete absence. It is advisable to answer in detail. In the fields like “About me” it makes sense to tell about your interests, hobbies, so as to recreate a portrait of a person, and men have a certain idea of you and, importantly, have appeared: a reason to start dating and topics for discussion. You can tell about your character, your beliefs, your favorite anecdote. And be sure to tell us which man you would like to meet. Be as honest as possible. If it is important for you that the man does not have children, indicate this. If you want a man to be financially secure, you yourself do not want to work at all, but want to give birth to children and take care of the house – just write. This will be an additional filter for your search. Of course, he will weed out many men, but since they do not fit your requirements, then you do not need them at all.
What not to write about? Don’t write negative. In no case. Don’t write about your suffering and disappointment. Men come to a dating site not to sympathize with someone or support them morally. They want to meet an attractive and positive woman who is doing well. It is unlikely that anyone will want to meet a sufferer who is disillusioned with life and men. If you want to meet not for online flirting and virtual communication, but for relationships in real life, you should not lie in your profile. Not about your age, or about your equestrianism and vocals, unless you actually do or sing.
In no case should you write text using the Caps Lock key (in capital letters). Text typed in this way looks like a raised tone and is unpleasant to read. The typed text must be checked for grammatical and punctuation errors. Many men will pass by, albeit a pretty, but illiterate young lady. The text should not be longer than a small children’s story, otherwise your efforts will be in vain. Men who want to meet, of course, want to know as much as possible about the girl in the photo, but they are unlikely to be ready to read stories or, even worse, novels.
We stopped meeting on the street. We are too lazy, because it is enough to look at the Internet – and on the screen we will be presented with thousands of options for dating …
Today, virtual dating applications can be found in every second mobile phone, but it won’t take long, and you see, they will be standard along with a calculator or built-in games. One way or another, but this type of entertainment is gaining more and more popularity in our dynamic and sociable society.
Agree, the idea of communicating on the Internet with a nice young man during his work break over a cup of coffee seems much more exciting than washing the bones of his superiors with a colleague. Yes, yes, it is during a break, because almost all such resources provide an opportunity to get acquainted with those who are very close. One has only to create a profile, upload a few good photos, IRs … here are a couple of messages on your page!
Perhaps, having some experience in such acquaintances, I can say with confidence that 80% of your future relationships will depend on how you present yourself at the beginning.
Even the most educated and humble young man will see in his eyes your intentions, and if there are devilish devils dancing lambada, he is unlikely to want to tune you into a more serious mood, and for the time of meeting you he will simply postpone the idea of a long-term relationship.
Dating on the Internet today is no longer surprising, and perhaps there is nothing criminal in them - someone is just passing the time, someone will make useful connections and make friends, and someone is lucky enough to meet their soul mate.
Whatever it was, but so that your date does not turn out to be casual or meaningless, before creating a profile, you should think about it, and what exactly do you want?
Online dating – how to turn virtual happiness into real one?
Most people are embarrassed to meet in reality. Parks, cafes, clubs – it would seem that everything is so simple, but, alas, sometimes it is incredibly difficult to step over modesty and constraint. And the fear of rejection does not give confidence. Someone simply does not go to the right places, and it is not at all for the girls to come up first. How to be in a situation when loneliness is already unbearable, but nothing can be changed?
For this, Internet dating sites have long been invented. Most people snort contemptuously when they hear about another service. It is not surprising, because often at the first visit, a flurry of spam, intimate offers and photos, messages from matchmakers falls on the user. It immediately becomes clear that you cannot find your love in such a place. And besides, it is difficult to find an interesting interlocutor out of thousands of users who shares your views on life.
The new generation of sites for singles is distinguished by a high degree of control over spammers, matchmakers and aggressive users, and also involves searching not only by standard parameters, such as age, gender, attitudes towards smoking or alcohol. For example, on linkyou.ru you can “weed out” candidates by profession, religion and even nationality filter. You just start a questionnaire, choose the necessary conditions and get a list of possible candidates.
Having decided on the choice of a dating site and posting a profile, try to develop tactics, thanks to which easy virtual communication will successfully turn into a serious, and quite real, relationship.
Install photothat reflect your real appearance as much as possible. In an effort to please the vending user, many often post someone else’s, or their “improved” photos in Photoshop. As a result, overestimated expectations are formed on the other side of the screen, and when the long-awaited meeting comes, disappointment is inevitable. It is better to find someone to whom you will become dear without retouching and correction.
Trust but verify… Alas, the world is full of scammers, and it is not always possible to protect each user from them. You should not, in the heat of feelings, transfer your funds to the interlocutor, provide personal data and bank card numbers, send copies of documents. Even if he asks very much and swears to everything he can, looks innocent and convincing, be aware that there is a great risk of loss and savings and feelings.
Feel free to searchinformation about the interlocutor on third-party resources. Search engines provide data not only for a text query – you can use the “image search” by uploading a photo of your correspondence partner. Before the first meeting, it’s a good idea to call in a video chat, so you will surely be sure that the person’s appearance matches his avatar.
Be yourself… Try to communicate sincerely, do not try to please by portraying the ideal life partner, sharing every look of your partner. Sooner or later, your communication will be transferred to the material world, where the discrepancy between the romantic image from the network and the real figure will inevitably cause the collapse of all dreams.
Be mindful of the little things… From the very first reports, it is often easy to identify professional “pick-up artists”, prostitutes, matchmakers, perverts. Too cheeky tone, clichés and patterns, inappropriate humor – all this is a very likely sign that the interlocutor has no serious intentions. Try to trust your intuition, use the methods of Sherlock Holmes – analyze virtual letters, their spelling and punctuation, emoticons. Do not close your eyes to annoying or unpleasant moments – believe me, in life these corners will sharpen more.
Fill out the form as accurately and completely as possible… You may not have to look for a partner – happiness will knock on the door by itself. More precisely, in private messages. The more information in the questionnaire, the higher the likelihood of getting a message from the ideal partner.
Do not put pressure on the interlocutorinsisting on seeing you soon. Even if you think you are the perfect match, the person on the other side of the monitor may still have doubts. Some people need more time to take serious steps; excessive pressure can only frighten off the candidate they like.
Be calm about failure… On the Internet, as in life, gaps between interlocutors are possible. Try to take everything philosophically – if the connection is broken, then this is simply not your person. Try again, on the portal of thousands of people, there will definitely be someone who will make you happy!
Although many people, when they hear about online dating, snort contemptuously, there are a great many couples on earth that have developed thanks to such sites. Try and you, what if you get lucky?
Online dating. Is the French kiss really that sweet?
This story began in the spring. At this moment in my life, I had a difficult period filled with a mass of negative emotions, and in order not to go crazy and not slip into depression, I began to learn English.
I really liked him at school. I thought it would be nice to pull him up now. When traveling, it can be very useful, and I love to do it! Knowing about my passion for English, a friend advised me to register on a language exchange site – this is where some people communicate to improve their language skills, but by and large, the main audience is set up for romance and flirting.
It is an amazing feeling when you meet people from different parts of the world every day! In the morning you drink coffee with a playful conversation with Los Angeles on Skype, get a bunch of sugary-sweet confessions from Turkey and fall asleep to the gentle cooing of Paris: “Reve de nous, mon Amour!”.
Cold gray morning. Lady Antebellum "Need You Now" is playing on the speakers. There are tons of new messages in the mail from the USA, Turkey, Germany, Algeria, Spain and ... France. In the evening, a cold shower and Garou songs in headphones. It hurts, it hurts a lot ...
Why do I still love him and can't forget? Maybe it just takes time. I put my hands on the steering wheel of my car, my head tilted back, heavy eyelids closed my eyes. Billie Myers sang his song "Kiss the rain" on the radio, and tears run down his cheeks in thin streams. How I want to be now not here, but at the airport, waiting for the Moscow-Paris flight, knowing that you are flying to me on the wings of love.
PS The plot of the article is taken from one story heard by the author on the Internet. Names and some details are not mentioned at the request of the main character.
Tags: online dating, flirting
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Home page / Prose of life / Articles / Online dating. Is the French kiss really that sweet?
Can You Trust Dating Sites? Part 1. Market for brides
My affectionate and gentle Internet
As many articles and studies have been written about online dating – the fingers and toes of an entire army are not enough to list them all. And all the same, the topic remains and will become even more relevant over time. 18 years ago I worked as a translator in one of the dating agencies and I know firsthand about the reality of finding a life partner on the Internet – from personal experience.
Can You Trust Dating Sites? My affectionate and gentle Internet. Part 1. Market for brides Photo: Depositphotos
My friend – I’ll conditionally call her Scarlett O’Hara, I’ll write about her again – began a long and tedious divorce from her walking husband. She, having defended her dissertation, was forced to raise two children. The walking husband, of course, threw money on the hearth, but when he was once again brought into the house in the position of a log, our Scarlett could not stand it. And she demanded from her husband for the six years of unemployed life spent on the family … a wheel from his second car, Toyota.
The tire fitting itself was not needed for a friend, so she demanded its cost in monetary terms. After another scandal, she received it in wooden terms. However, this was enough for Scarlett to start promoting one business after another. Soon it became a successful tourist operator, mainly due to the opening of left, supposedly tourist, visas to Europe – there was such a period in our common life. The business blossomed pink and a friend bought a computer.
For the perplexed, I will say that at that moment she was almost fifty ... That's when she decided to open a marriage agency on the basis of a travel agency. Not everyone had computers, and there was a "tenseness" with foreign languages in the country.
Many of our women were eager to go to the West, as in the anecdote, "at least a pig, at least a scarecrow" Scarlett enthusiastically took up the marriage business, not forgetting about herself, because unofficially she already felt like a free woman. She told me that as soon as a suitable candidate - in every sense of the word - was drawn on the horizon, who would accept both her and her two children, she would immediately dissolve the marriage with the log brought in in the evenings.
By the way, her not yet ex-husband, sensing a strange and successful woman nearby, retired from the apartment of the wife's parents to his parents. She invited me as a translator. At that time we did not have our own website, it was quite expensive in the late 90s, but we found free foreign resources and posted the profiles of our women on them, and the American Singles website became our favorite.
Somehow our incoming system administrator, or simply "sysadmin", decided to experiment and become a hacker. American Singles resisted a little, but how can they compete with our gambling programmers! A day later, our female clients got access to the profiles of 200 “their” men for personal use. Then we began to select the best of the proposed, and not they us.
But that was a long time ago, although even today I periodically help my female acquaintances to compose a questionnaire, write a romantic letter or a letter with a humorous slant, banter, even write poetry in English, translating someone's stream of consciousness into a digestible form. Men, regardless of their country of residence, like it very much.
Our Scarlett grabbed two straws. One broke after a while, and the other later became her faithful husband. But the whole point is that she has acquired a very good, caring, but ... "budgetary" husband, with difficulty supporting children from his first marriage. And then there's this Ukrainian woman with her daughter.
The son was old enough and he himself decided to stay in his native land and receive two more free education, but with regard to his ten-year-old daughter, everything was not so smooth. The log, that is, the husband, acted almost like the father of the heroine of the film "Intergirl". No, he did not demand money, but he did not give permission to export his daughter.
Scarlett wouldn’t be Scarlett if she hadn’t found a way out. She proved her ex-husband on her fingers that over time he would become the father of an American woman and would be able to come to the vaunted America, which attracted him like a donkey to a carrot. And if she doesn't, then she knows about his business that the entire city tax office will spend a year on this money.
In conclusion, I will cite an excerpt from the story "My affectionate and tender Internet", written in due time, just illustrating our matrimonial stage. I confess, I also tried on this game - I have a wonderful husband and I feel good with him.
“Having launched the“ gray ”Helen into orbit, my friend and I did not hesitate to dive into the bride market ourselves. A friend was just beginning a period of difficult relationship with her husband, and I, as they say, for the company. After bewitching the questionnaires, subtracting a couple of years, adding a few centimeters of height and portraying ourselves as such ideal, from a male point of view, ladies, we both received several dozen letters from the States and even from hot Nigeria. It was amazing! We played the game, and it started to give real results. The letter from the Nigerian German also contained a photograph of him hugging a palm tree at the edge of the pool, in which he cooled down, and then scribbled his letters by e-mail. Exotic, which did not even fit into our post-Soviet imagination, and suddenly put at our feet!
There was also a letter from a certain Harold Bobb from Washington (he was immediately christened Harold the Womanizer), by the way, in the photo he was not taken against the background of a palm tree or a pool, and not even against the background of the White House, but against the background of our beloved monument to the lost ships in the Sevastopol. Another correspondent with the completely unthinkable name Irol Uygur turned out to be a sweet-talking Latinos from Montgomery, Alabama. In the first letter, he confessed how passionately in love with us. All at once. In the photo, he looked like a normal Brazilian-Mexican soap hero, and to be honest, I didn't understand what he was looking for in American Singles with his good looks and sweet speeches. It would be understandable to be a rich American, but write to the half-impoverished Ukraine? Maybe he just didn't know where she was, and for him we were as exotic as a Nigerian palm tree and a pool for us? I don’t know, because through several letters that are almost identical in content, “I am a romantic, sensitive, devoted” ... etc. the molasses ran out without any explanation. "
To be continued…
Tags: online dating, personal experience
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Home page / Man and woman / Articles / Can You Trust Dating Sites? Part 1. Market for brides
Can You Trust Dating Sites? Part 2. Stories of Marina and Helen
My affectionate and gentle Internet
Online dating brings a lot of unexpected and interesting things. The main thing is to be able to properly filter this entire shaft of information. Well, let’s continue our research …
Can You Trust Dating Sites? My affectionate and gentle Internet. Part 2. Stories of Marina and Helen Photo: Depositphotos
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All the names in this life story, except for Tatyana’s, have been changed for obvious reasons. Tatyana, on the other hand, agreed that her real name should appear.
Our absentee potential suitors kept silent all, gradually and it is absolutely not clear why. We also met with this phenomenon later: they write-write warm, even love letters, with a bunch of promises like “tomorrow I’m flying to you, Darling” - and suddenly a break, nothing ...
For our women, this has always been a shock and severe stress, they were still trying to figure out what and why, but these were just humiliating attempts to which no one answered. The only decent person turned out to be our Nigerian German, who honestly wrote that he "met another", probably on the open spaces of some other site, and maybe among the same American Singles. But this was an isolated incident.
Marina settled in Tatyana's office as a hostess long before she began to visit, and then I firmly settled down. Her presence and chatter undoubtedly helped Tatyana while away the long winter hours of sitting in the office. Over time, I realized that Marina considers herself a real estate agent, but since she started e-mailing with her Swede Rolf, she has not made a single profitable deal.
But first things first ... Her status in the office remained unclear - either an employee or a client. If the employee - she did not receive any salary, if the client - she never paid for our services. But it was she who became a vivid image of how not to act in our delicate matter. Subsequently, we even frightened the "novice" ladies: "Look, don't turn into Marina!"
Two people who live in different parts of the world responded to Marinin's questionnaire: one from Tennessee, the other from Sweden. The rich (at least, he described himself that way) handsome Bill, of course, attracted us more than the fair-haired, dried-out Swede, similar to the actor Albert Filozov (the latter, I really love very much). Marina did the right thing by starting to correspond with both of them at once.
After a few nice entertaining letters with the indispensable "I almost love you" playboy, Bill, like many others, "fell off." With all the more passion, Marina pounced on the remaining Swede Rolf. Perhaps I would even feel sorry for Rolf, who had to endure almost every day a flurry of all kinds of emotions in the form of exclamations, bewilderment, confessions and reproaches, but our imperturbable Scandinavian himself turned out to be a tough nut to crack, but rather a slippery eel.
He added fuel to the fire of Marina's passion, while maintaining his eternal Swedish neutrality, without saying "yes" or "no", without giving details about his life, without giving a postal address. He soon knew everything about Marina, starting from her toddler age. How he had the patience to read about her hobbies and manage not to open the curtain of his personal life even a little bit - and to this day is for me a secret and textbook example of male impermanence.
By the way, I want to emphasize that you need strong motivation to learn any foreign language. And the desire to find your soul mate somewhere “out there” is one of them. So even if your searches are unsuccessful, knowledge of the language will contribute to career growth, and simply increase self-esteem.
Marina had her own approach to the English language: she simply stringed words like a shish kebab on a skewer exactly in the order in which they appeared in the Russian sentence. By the way, her memory for new words and stable expressions turned out to be phenomenal. And what is the bottom line? Ralph began to perfectly understand her letters, and then they exchanged messages in a "free flight", bypassing me, Tatyana and our long-suffering computer.
History of Helen and VtiFr
It's a strange word, isn't it? The fact is that very often we called our correspondents by their name, which is in the email address before the @ sign, by login. That is how we began to call a certain Frank from near Detroit, who responded to my questionnaire under the pseudonym N. However, after learning his age and estimating how much I had lost to myself, I decided not to miss such a chance ... and to transfer the candidate to ours and Tanya to a common a divorced friend living in another city and only came to visit her relatives for a couple of days.
Due to our ignorance of the conjunctural market and the requirements for the “bride's” questionnaire, we wrote her a rather gray biography (by the way, this is exactly what this biography was). Due to the clumsy and tastelessly drawn up questionnaire, she may not have been lucky. And then we figured out what we could offer to the serious, as it read in the letter, to the widower VtiFru (this was an abbreviation for Frank and part of his surname).
So what if Helen has two daughters from her first marriage, and one child is announced in my profile? So what if her eyes are black and mine are gray? So what if she works as a secretary at a telephone company, and not as a university teacher? And finally, so what if her name is not at all?
Having fogged up, we convinced the poor fellow that Helen was me, just as a child I was called by an abbreviated name. With the eyes, it turned out quite simply: a photograph of Helen, scanned for writing, was compressed and blurred so that the question of eye color did not arise at all. Although our VtiFr immediately admitted that she is a real "beauty" and that he loves her very much.
It was worse with the children. I sat at the screen for a long time and painfully wondered which of Helen's two daughters to light up. On reflection, I made, it seems to me, a wise decision: if the older one passes, then the little one will slip. So Lilya was legalized.
After a very short time, the dearest VtiFr already wrote how he loves us, that is, both of them - Helen and Liza. Apparently, it was VtiFr who turned out to be the most positive, serious and actually tuned in to a strong relationship man. I became very attached to him - after all, I wrote letters on behalf of my friend! And he clearly fell in love - with her photo and ... my letters. (Isn't it Cyrano de Bergerac of the Mtsensk district?)
Soon there were unambiguous hints, and then persistent requests to invite him to Ukraine! I was full of confusion and mumbled something sluggishly from letter to letter. And our friend, who did not understand the situation, worked serenely in her city and only occasionally asked how her amorous affairs were going. Apparently, they did not really interest her.
The letters from this N. (to her, to me?) Came in very detailed, sensible and so often that soon all the "girls" got used to the fact that with almost every mail a long message comes from "our" VtiFra, which I printed out and wound up on her hand like a roll of toilet paper, and carried her home. At home, I sorted letters by date and periodically mailed Helen in huge envelopes. I'm still not sure she read them all. The "girls", who were not as lucky as our Helen, sighed and envied a little: such a decent groom was not needed.
VtiFr turned out to be a descendant of the revolutionary, after whose name the square in Hungary was named. He himself was a leading engineer in some kind of electrical industry and sent (Helen, me?) A gorgeous booklet describing his company, a business card and a bunch of photographs: his own, which depicted a very well-fed man, his two red-haired and also plump sons , cars and front and back views of the house and courtyard.
And only then did I feel ashamed. I realized that I couldn’t wait any longer, I wrote another vague letter, where I said that Helen had moved to another city and was waiting for letters from VtiFr at a new email address. Of course, she apologizes in advance for her modest English, because a friend helped her with translation in the same place ...
Their correspondence died out almost immediately after it was transferred to the warm Crimean soil. Either the friend did not want to make any efforts, or her letters were already too different from mine, but the fact remains - VtiFr disappeared. At Tatyana's office, everyone was really upset - after all, we are so used to him! And most importantly, his letters gave hope to other women.
We remembered for a long time our detailed, neat, well-fed Detroit: "Oh, what a man he was - a real fan!"
To be continued…
Tags: online dating, life story
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Home page / Man and woman / Articles / Can You Trust Dating Sites? Part 2. Stories of Marina and Helen
This is a life story about Vanessa. She appeared in Tatiana’s office about two months after our matrimonial start. I saw a Botticellian face, a thin pigtail and a gray dress that was completely unaccustomed to the modern look, and a gray dress, more like a hair shirt, with which fanatical Catholics tortured their bodies in the Middle Ages. Probably, from her point of view, it was vintage.
Tamara Lempicka, Portrait of a Young Woman (inspired by Botticelli), 1950 Source: artchive.ru
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She tapped on the keys, peering intently at the text of the English translation written on a piece of paper. Once she picks up herself, it means she saves, we decided. Most of our clients eventually switched to self-service in order to save a couple of hryvnias and pay only for the translation of letters.
On Vanessa's questionnaire, containing bait that other women do not have (for example, "I like to meet the dawn while riding a horse"), answered at least a dozen of the same romantic admirers. Each of them was ready to meet with her sunrises and sunsets, riding a horse, bison, antelope etc. In addition, the attached photograph of Vanessa with her hair loose, in something translucent, with half-childish, half-sinful eyes could not leave men indifferent.
It is difficult to imagine a more controversial creature. On the one hand, she was incredibly devout, kept all the posts, dressed more than modestly, and once sang in a church choir. On the other hand, the photographs she sent to select respondents were very candid. And the statements that broke from time to time betrayed a rather purposeful and cynical nature.
She signed all her letters "Lady Vanessa". And we received bundles of enthusiastic responses addressed specifically to "Lady Vanessa." She treated her popularity with restraint, and she was skeptical about letters, sorting them by country and continent, as well as by the alleged contents of wallets. “I’m not going there, it’s cold there,” she said. - And what am I going to do with this poor teacher? No, I won't answer that. "
Her letters "there" are worth a separate discussion. She used to bring me a bunch of beaded pages for translation. To translate them into English, you first had to translate them from Russian into Russian, because all of Vanessa's letters were a stream of consciousness. The letters were pretentious, and the thoughts were ragged, and I spent most of my time “combing” them, which was like working with a rake in an autumn garden. Vanessa would not allow me to divide long sentences into short ones "so that her writing style would not be disturbed." And the poor English speakers were forced to wade through the jungle of constructions that were completely uncharacteristic of the English language.
Having a higher special education (Vanessa graduated from the psychological faculty of the university) and giving out sensible advice from the point of view of psychology, Vanessa was completely helpless when it came to her. Questions like: "What did he mean here?" or "What is the best answer to this?" - Tatiana and I were bewildered. The further, the more we became convinced that the woman does not understand WHAT is written, but tries to find the subtext, WHY it is written. Men, as a rule, have a simpler structure: they write what they mean. “Everyone writes as he hears,” - as the unforgettable Okudzhava sang.
After several months of fruitless search for a partner worthy of all the given parameters, Vanessa despaired of finding her destiny through dating on the Internet. Saying something like Michurin's: “Let's not wait for favors from nature,” she decided to conquer the world herself. Nevertheless, the route laid by her lay through the points of residence of potential suitors - former correspondents. Brussels, Toledo, Parma, Avignon. The names themselves carried the charm of the unknown and breathed history.
She decided to start in Brussels, where one of her most "reliable" fans lived, and Tatiana, as the director of a travel agency, helped open her a Schengen visa. An impassioned letter was sent to Jean from Brussels announcing an imminent meeting, after which he immediately disappeared from the horizon. Vanessa did not know this, as she was already on her way "there". She did not have a normal postal address for this cowardly Jean. This was the misfortune of many of our women: more often than not, all they knew about a partner was his e-mail and his legend.
So, Vanessa was in the center of Europe, with poor English, almost no money and with very vague ideas about what to do. She left in the summer. Once or twice a month, very messy letters came from her by mail, from which it was difficult to understand whether she decided to get a job as a dishwasher in a bar, or declare herself a former active dissident and await a decision in the European Parliament.
Three months later, her visa expired, and, apparently, Vanessa was offered to live in a camp for displaced persons, a sort of reservation. All the violators of the visa regime, caught by the special services, lived there and waited in the wings, or rather, the decision of government bodies to extend the period of stay or immediate repatriation. Sometimes such a decision has to wait for years.
Apparently, on the reservation they enjoyed all the benefits of the civilized Western world, lived off a special fund and dreamed only that they would not be sent home.
In any case, the last letter from Vanessa sounded optimistic, and she invited her mother to come and share with her the delights of life on the reservation. Probably, it was not so bad there ...
To be continued…
Tags: online dating, life story
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Home page / Man and woman / Articles / Can You Trust Dating Sites? Part 4. Lady Vanessa
Virtual dating is clearly a buzzword today. Just the popularity of dating applications – such services are installed in their smartphones even by representatives of young people, for whom, it would seem, there are simpler ways to find a soul mate. But the fact remains – new technologies are taking over even the dating sphere. And in this regard, several myths have developed around online dating. Today we will dispel the most common ones.
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Dating sites are for aged losers. A very silly prejudice. According to statistics, the average age of users of such sites is from 18 to 35 years old. Yes, there are people who are older, but their percentage is much lower.
Dating on the Internet has no prospects, it’s just entertainment. In fact, today a third of all couples are dating online. Every fifth couple of newlyweds registering a marriage found each other on the Internet. And this number is growing inexorably from year to year. Of course, dating sites are full of people who are not in the mood for real communication, and there is no getting around it. But there are much more of those who are really looking for a soul mate.
Only women sit on dating sites. We hasten to upset you – according to statistics, there are 2-3% more men on such sites than women. If we consider on average, then the representatives of different sexes are approximately equal. However, on different sites, things are different – on some there is a direct outright preponderance towards men.
On dating sites, there are only maniacs, criminals, liars and schemers. According to statistics, 10% of the registered profiles belong to scammers – there is no getting away from this. But there is an effective way to deal with them – a blacklist. One way or another, almost every person is faced with inadequacies in the vastness of the network. They just need to be understood, accepted and blocked.
You can’t find a person for a serious relationship on the Internet – they get to know each other only for fleeting connections. And this is also an absolute lie. Everyone sets their own goals. Of course, there are a lot of those who are not interested in marriage and children, but they often talk about it themselves. Others are quite interested in finding a love partner.
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