People were made to be loved
and things to be used.
The world is in chaos because the opposite is true.

Dalai lama

Excessive sexuality is a hallmark of our time. All advertising is based on sex: from all sides we are attacked by maidens with languidly parted mouths and young men with a naked torso in drops of water. Popular magazines are full of articles on how to seduce a girl (guy), how to conquer a partner with your sex-appeal. One gets the feeling that sexual success is almost the main thing in a person s life.

Let s bring sexuality to the surface. It has two components.

1. Sexual energy – the most powerful of those that operate in the human body. The maximum concentration of forces occurs in the center of the origin of life. In esotericism, this is called the sexual energy center. What we experience as arousal, the urge to have sex, is actually irritation due to excess energy. The peak of pleasure in sex is the release of excess energy during orgasm. Yes, yes, the truth is that we want just relaxation, and not that blonde with violet eyes or the tough guy on the next simulator.

Mate attraction stems from the second aspect of sexuality.

2. Sense of self-importance (PSV) – a concept introduced into Western culture by Castaneda. It is assembled from a complex gamut of internal sensations and experiences, which in general can be defined as a constant affirmation of one s significance, selfishness, self-indulgence, excessive attention to one s precious person.

ChSV makes you look at your partner with the eyes of the owner, as an object of your “love”. And this love often consists only of jealousy, lust for possession and complacency. If you blow it, in fact there is nothing …

This is because of PSV, a person treats his partner as a living toy: attractive, adorable, unique. So unique that you proudly realize that no one else has such a thing! Do you have. And you have it in every sense of the word. And it is sex that gives the maximum feeling of possession of the desired partner. Oh, how the ego blooms! How the feeling of one s own importance and coolness grows stronger and stronger!

In pursuit of self-affirmation, we build unequal and shallow relationships. True love is a living, constantly developing and harmonious relationship. In them, partners accept and value the freedom of the other, and sex serves (precisely serves) for the exchange of energies, mutual pleasure and development.


Free flow of sexual energy and less dependence on sex (that is, release from fixation on PSV) give a person more freedom, awareness, creativity, strength to achieve a variety of goals. At the same time – which is wonderful! – pleasure from sex does not decrease, but mutual joy increases!

Lyudmila Ivanovskaya,
psychologist, trainer, specialist in the field of relations
and family constellations

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